February 14, 2018

To the Kids

“To the kids who have parents that aren’t parents

To the kids who have a family that isn’t a family

To the kids that have small Christmases

Or no Christmases

To the kids who have forgotten birthdays

To the kids who never got a card left in the metal box sitting idle down the street

To the kids who never got a graduation gift

To the kids who felt pushed out

College

To the kids who don’t get phone calls

To the kids who don’t get petty cash

To the kids who were shoved into a box

To the kids who never get packages

Care packages?

I know you don’t care

To the kids who feel unloved

To the kids.

Kids, you’re fucking loved.”

I wrote this early one morning and last night I came across it again. I wrote this based on some of the feelings I have towards my own family and the way they treat me, and also based upon what I have had other individuals tell me about their own families. I realize that everybody has a dysfunctional family in some way and are often treated in ways they wish they weren’t. It may be in small aspects or it may be in severe, big ways. I think this idea of dysfunction within families is a central theme in all the texts we have looked at so far as a class.

In The Glass Castle the Walls’ family is clearly dysfunctional with an alcoholic and abusive father, and a mother who appears to be disconnected and out of place in her life. The dysfunction of the Walls’ family is what I think made the text interesting but also relatable. I cannot closely relate to the forms of dysfunction that are shown within the Walls’ family, but I can relate to how there is an overall dysfunctional component. The family moving around at fast and inconsistent rates only serves to heighten the dysfunction.

For The Fall of the House of Usher, I found it a bit harder to run with this idea of “dysfunction” on at least a family level, but there is definitely a large level of dysfunction in the overall story. The house itself is seen as a form of dysfunction as it is obviously not atypical and has an atmosphere that does not fit into our societies criteria of “normal.” The death of Madeline turns into a scary event where Roderick buries her in the basement only to later realize that she was buried alive. There is horror and dysfunction in the story which is again, what makes it so enticing for the reader.

Lastly, as we begin our reading of Fun Home, we see in the very first chapter how the father serves to complicate the way the family should be functioning in the book. He is controlling and materialistic in the view of his wife and children. Identity and sexuality are additional themes that are waiting to be explored in the text as “dysfunctional” aspects.

As I am writing this on Valentine’s day, some of my questions for you revolve around love and care (although not in a romantic sense). How do you think our society measures dysfunction in our families? How do dysfunctional families play into how much an individual feels loved and cared for? Can family members feel loved and cared for even if they are in a dysfunctional family? How so? And do we see this in any of the texts covered in class thus far?