Similar to Unit 2, “Understanding Values”, how I express my body language, specific apparel choice, and public representation is based off of my lifestyle. All of these aspects have been determined by core beliefs and values in my family and or peer community.
On average, I dress casually every day on campus. This is where I would most likely be seen in public, because I arrive to attend classes from late morning to early afternoon right after practice has concluded. If one were to make assumptions about me based off of quick observations then I would appear to be in a frantic state. Generally, it may look like I would have just thrown on some athletic clothes just after a quick shower. My concerns do not have much investment in appearance during school hours. After school hours aren’t much better. A long day dragging around my stuffed-to-the-limit backpack takes a toll on whatever energy I have left, and I will typically end the day even more casually before starting homework, dinner, or anything on my to-do-list in order to wind down from the day. I understand that my dress may not completely reflect my values in hard work and effort. However, I am consistent about making conscious efforts in dressing modestly. I believe that is a very important quality in which women to should portray. Perhaps my values in modesty are derived from my Christian background and upbringing. It is something that I have drilled into the back of my head, and it is unlikely that I will change this value because I want to promote a sense of self-respect for myself in front of others. My Mother and Father have repetitively said to me, “you never know who is watching”. Modesty is not only a part of my dress, but my character. I do my best to carry myself in a modest manner.
Obviously, my efforts in dress may vary. Based on certain events, I attempt to dress appropriate to the specific occasion. I am aware that I don’t always dress to the nines however, in the past I used to make more effort in presenting myself in a clean-cut manner and put more emphasis on my surface appearance. If someone were to observe and evaluate for an elongated period of time they would observe that my days are routine with an organized hour-to-hour schedule. The town that I grew up in was a community that consisted of people who, for a lack of a better term, are rather “uppity”. This is a judgment that has been developed not only by me after many years of residing in the same community, but by any visitors with whom I have spoken about the town. The persona developed main concern based off of materialistic and surface values. I was lucky enough to grow up in a home with parents who modeled to me that it is important to get to know a person for who they truly are instead of creating friendships because of similar styles or levels of wealth. It was not a common virtue for people to truly want to get to know each other’s character. The common focus tended to be on self and thoughts of “look at me” is the best way to describe the general lifestyle of people with whom I faced daily. The point that I am attempting to make by describing this part of my upbringing is to portray that I am quite conscious about my appearance. From my parents I learned that if you want resect, you must treat others with respect first. On the other hand, my community taught me that if you gain respect based on the surface and first appearance impressions. Yes, appearance impressions, not solely first impressions when there is a conversation is involved. These are mixed messages that have developed my value system and now I apply both to how I think, and what others may potentially think about me.
Though for a time I succumbed to the ideals of those around me I have since then come to see the light of what really is important to me; the respect of those around me. However, at times this is difficult for me because of my generally shy demeanor. The body language I exude can be mistaken as “up-tight” making it harder to gain the respect of my peers and coaches. Basically, the persona that I would like to portray is not how I come across. My values and character is still a work in progress.