My main focus this term was to become a much more interactive leader. I wanted to really create and be a part of a team environment. The Leadership Development Plan I created focused on Modeling the Way through taking on tasks with enthusiasm, Encouraging the Heart for my group by being a resource for them to ask questions and bounce ideas off of providing both optimistic and realistic feedback, and being more expressive and open about my opinions with my team.
I failed at my Leadership Development Plan the second half of this term. My goal of Modeling The Way was only successful because rather than going through and delegating work and communicating my expectations, I simply took on more tasks. There was little enabling others and even less encouraging the heart, and I honestly did not put any effort into my emotional intelligence plan.
This term was full of personal hardships for me, essentially I became very distant emotionally and could hardly focus on the work at hand. The only way I felt as though I could be productive was essentially to put my head down and bulldoze through the work. If my teammates could not find work to do or figure out how to do it properly I didn’t really care all that much, I would just do it myself later. By Neglecting my blog posts and avoiding communication with my team I was trying to avoid my own emotions and problems that I was having in other parts of my life. My goals switched from being the best leader possible and having the strongest team possible to getting through the assignments with as little emotion as I could manage.
That being said, I do recognize that in the first half of this term, when I was far more focused, that the camaraderie we established as a team carried through the second half of the term and helped to keep our group functioning. By having an open atmosphere in the first few weeks and really trying to have all of the members participating and collaborating, gave us a strong foundation for our proposal. While we were brainstorming solutions, John came up with the summer camp idea and initially we all kind of laughed about it but started to build with everyone contributing ideas and it became the basis of our entire project. It was this kind of environment of joking and throwing about crazy ideas that created synergy within our group.
Despite the way I ended this term, I have realized the power of open communication. I have always been a good listener but had trouble with providing my opinion. Looking at the effects of how my ego got in the way of speaking my mind and how it effects the communication and demeanor I have with my teammates, both when done well and done poorly, I want to create that open environment where I feel comfortable giving my opinion and can discuss it with my group. Looking forward, I plan on again attempting to provide thoughtful discourse to whatever leadership opportunity I am provided with because I realize now that my team wanted my input and direction in order to make us better.
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