How an Organization of Teenage Girls Made Me Feel Secure with Myself

By Emily Romo

I’d like to take time to reflect on my six year experience in volunteering in an organization called the National Charity League. I joined when I was in seventh grade through an invitation a friend’s mom gave my own mom, and from then on I consistently volunteered at different places around my community until I graduated from high school. During this time, I really recognized how integral the act of helping others was to who I was as a person, and my well-being.

Helping others was always just something that I liked to do. Whether that be giving advice to friends for their problems, or helping classmates with homework and answering their questions, it was something I liked to do. I didn’t even have to be encouraged to do it; my parents told me to, but I just liked it. So when my mom and I were invited to join this charity league, I was really excited. Sure, it would take time out of my precious free days when I’d enjoy lazing around, but as I got older, I realized the difference I was actually making in my community. This realization and continuation of helping others in a broader scope gave me a sense of ontological security.

Ontological security is the confidence that most human beings have in the continuity of their self-identity and in the constancy of the surrounding social and material environments of action. In simpler terms, it’s trying to keep one’s self-identity intact by doing things that correspond to that. Volunteering was what that was for me – I was able to continue helping others in an organization that was designed specifically for that. Every other week or so, I’d sign up to volunteer at various places, like delivering food or working at the library. My favorite was definitely the latter, as I got to listen to children talk about books they had read and encourage them to read more. It also gave me an excuse to read, as time spent in between waiting for children to show up would give me time to read books of my own.

This particular volunteer experience really helped me feel secure in who I was as a person – someone who likes listening to others talk about things they enjoy, especially when it was about books. Sometimes, the kids would talk to me about books I had read before, and I could share in their enjoyment since I’d personally experienced it myself. Being able to partake in this gave me a sense of happiness and peace, which encouraged me to come back to this particular volunteer experience again and again. Maintaining that sense of security within myself was important for my well-being, and working at the library gave me just that.

For my own well-being, familiarity and routine is important too, so coming back to the same volunteering opportunities like the library made me feel comfortable. Knowing where all the supplies were stored, how I was supposed to speak to the children, and how to guide the children through the club all became very familiar to me. This in turn meshed well with what I knew I was good at and what I liked – listening and helping others, so it was the perfect experience for me.

I had a variety of motivations for continuing this work, and I recall the article written by Dr. Yarris on different kinds of motivations for volunteer work. In my case, it was simply the act of helping that carried me through. I would in turn see people happy that I did these things for them, and the cycle would continue as I’d come back to volunteer for the same places. It was personal and emotional for me.

I also knew I was privileged to even be part of an organization like this, as my socioeconomic status plus my label as a daughter allowed me to join. Not many others would have this opportunity, as it came with fees and the like. But the output that the organization was doing made up for all of that.

My experience in NCL contributed to my well-being in a variety of ways, but its ability to make me feel secure in who I was as a person was undoubtedly its biggest contribution. I knew I wanted to help people as much as I could, and doing this for six years only cemented that feeling.