Do you actually care whether or not we cheat on the stats tests?

Yes, we care a lot. Please don’t cheat. That’s not the right way to start a career as a scientist, guys. Think about who you want to be (hint: the answer is not Dr. Van Datafraud).

Most students experience this sequence as time-consuming, stressful, and confusing, at least some of the time. This is made more difficult by the fact that you’re all grad students, which means pretty much everything else about your lives is also time-consuming, stressful, and confusing – grad stats is just one more straw on the camel’s back. It’s also very important (to us, and hopefully to you all as well) that you learn this material well and are able to take a good foundational knowledge of statistics with you as you launch into your own research and eventual career. Arguably the two most important characteristics of a scientist are the desire to pursue truth and the ability to detect it. Statistics is your number one tool for the latter. So the stakes are high and the task is daunting. What happens if you take a shortcut?

We strongly encourage you to collaborate on the homework assignments. Working together with your peers is an invaluable way to improve your own understanding of the material. The final product you turn in must be your own work, but we would love nothing better than for you to work through it with your classmates, check your answers, ask each other questions, etc.

You are not permitted, however, to collaborate on the take-home exams. We need to assess you as individuals at a couple points throughout each course to check the level of your understanding on your own. This can be a valuable experience for students as well, and often makes students realize which pieces they totally get and which they still haven’t quite grasped – distinctions that might not always be clear in a group-work setting. You may be tempted, however, to collaborate just a little bit on tests, especially if you’re experiencing the time-consuming, stressful, confusing nature of the sequence. Don’t.

But what if you might fail? We are friendly, reasonable people, and we really want you to do well. We work really hard to support students throughout the course, so hopefully you’re never faced with the prospect of failing a test, but even the best intentions don’t always yield the desired results. It’s not unheard of for a student to fail a test, or to fail a class altogether. In this case, we work with you, we try to support you, we figure out what your options are and discuss with you what the best plan will be going forward. We know this sequence is hard, and we know you’re under a lot of pressure. We want to help. If you cheat, you make it impossible for us to help you. More importantly, you earn the derision of your colleagues (for we are definitely your colleagues), and presumably of yourself as well. Cheating on your stats test is absolutely the wrong way to start your career as an ethical researcher. And if you’re worried about failing and maybe having to re-take the class, ask yourself whether you’d rather have a re-take on your transcript, or a re-take and an official notice of academic misconduct. Ask yourself which would be harder to explain to search committees when you’re applying for jobs after graduation.

There is no reason to cheat, and every reason not to. Don’t.