“Paperback Rider”
By Zack Dundas, Portland Monthly Magazine
I thought this profile was very well written – especially in the lead. It begins with the line “on a recent summer evening,” which allows the author to elaborate and paint a picture of the profile subject. The article feels like a vintage snapshot of Schneider’s life, instead of a boring piece about a guy who rides bikes and writes about it.
In the second graf, we get a glimpse of the bike he rides. The author then dives into the meat of the story. He writes, “The 33-year-old, who works for the bookish nonprofit Literary Arts, has carved out his own niche in the local writing scene by chronicling modest but gilded two-wheeled experiences like this one.” I love this excerpt because it’s informative while maintaining animated and interesting writing.
The following grafs focus on his occupation in more detail. The third and fourth grafs shed light on his slightly cynical view of road maintenance and how the bike is the ultimate tool for sustainability and appreciation for life. The author’s conclusion of the story is also well done – in that it concludes with a bite and another clue of the subject’s personality. He writes, “Not that Schneider doesn’t love that simple machine. “We just rode across a major American city in, like, 15 minutes,” he noted. “That’s pretty amazing.” Overall, very solid article and great feature writing.
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“Former diplomat flees chad and finds new life in Queens”
By Thomas Gaffney, New York Times
While the world-renowned New York Times writes this article, I’m not a fan of its construction. The article begins with a quote from the profile subject, which I believe makes the article un-relatable. Yes, the lead explains that he was a former United Nations diplomat. However overall I believe it’s a weak that has great potential to be really interesting. I’m especially disappointed that the real captivating story isn’t revealed until the third graf. I feel that the first two grafs really lose readers.
The middle grafs are a tad bit better. They flow from idea to idea – from the photos in his current apartment to the food stamps he now receives to make ends meet. These are well constructed in that each graf has a new idea, but begins with information that relates to the previous. The final few grafs indicate what Laotegguelnodji plans to do in the future. The conclusion jumps to the present, where he greets his neighbor and explains an expression they use in Chad relating to neighbors.
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