“Want to be my Boyfriend? Please Define”
By: Marguerite Fields
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/04/fashion/04love.html
I really enjoyed this essay and how the writer gave a unique perspective on love and dating among young people. It wasn’t the typical heart-warming love story, but a blunt and realistic telling of how the dating world really is from the eyes of a college student in New York. I thought this worked well as a personal essay because the point wouldn’t have been clear if the writer didn’t include herself in the story.
This piece was very anecdote-driven, which worked for me. It was necessary for the writer to tell us about her personal experiences and how she felt about them. I liked that she not only told us what her love life is like, but we had insight into her thoughts and how she was affected by it. It was very real and relatable, especially for a young reader such as myself. She showed how men have made her feel crazy for wanting to be in a committed relationship and made her question her values in a relationship, which I think is something that anybody can relate to.
“I tried to tell myself that I’m young, that this is the time to be casual, careless, lighthearted and fun; don’t ruin it.” This ending was a little bit unsatisfying for me, but I think that was kind of the point. She puts the reader in her own position. One where she had high hopes in men and dating then was pressured to change her priorities and was thus left disappointed.
“Lucky Girl”
By Bridget Potter
http://www.guernicamag.com/features/lucky_girl/
The structure was basically one long anecdote with a few statistics throughout. I was surprised at how much description she was able to use considering this happened 50 years ago. For example, her description of the woman’s house where she is seeking an abortion:
“When Michael and I arrived, she put the chain on the inside of the door and peeped through the crack. She let me in but demanded that Michael wait in the lobby. The room was dark, overheated, and smelled of boiled cabbage. I glimpsed a big Victorian wood-framed, red velvet couch and a round, oak pedestal table through the dinge. In her fifties, the woman had an Eastern European accent, suspiciously black hair, and smeary scarlet lipstick. She was curt.”
This scene really gave me an image of this home and made me feel like I was there experiencing it myself.
She tells her experience of getting an abortion in the 60’s which worked because it shows how much times have changed and we would have understood that so clearly if it weren’t for the personal telling of her story. This could have easily been written as a typical research-based piece, but the fact that the writer personal told her unique story was much stronger and more effective. She still included hard facts, but did it in a more interesting way.
The ending was strong. It showed why she was writing this essay and completely wrapped up her point. I thought it her writing style was really nice, because she made her point by showing us, rather than coming right out and saying “abortions should be legal.” That is so important in essays like this. Instead of the writer telling the reader what they should think, the writer should show them.
Good comments. I thought the Fields essay was better than some of the “non college” ones that they run throughout the rest of the year. Also good comments on her description of the atmosphere in the Victorian house: dusty with a tinge of creepiness.