Spc Jeremy Albright gives direction during a MEDEVAC operation in Baghdad, Iraq 2008.
By: Jeff Dean
There’s nothing in the world like combat. “That rush of a firefight. That snap. You can’t fuckin mimic that” says Shawn Clod, a former infantry lieutenant who served in Afghanistan in 2012. While most know the dangers of war, what society seems to forget is the struggle of coming back to a place that was once so familiar, but is now foreign. Coming home is the real battle.
Shawn is the son of Cambodian refugees who settled outside of Boston before his birth. “We grew up not having anything,” remembers Shawn. Yet, the lack of financial stability didn’t stop him from pursuing an education, determined to be the first in his family to attend college. Unable to afford to afford one, he accepted an ROTC scholarship to attend Temple University, eventually graduating top of his class.
After graduation Shawn was assigned as an infantry platoon leader in the famed 82nd Airborne Division. As is the case with many soldiers, Shawn knew he would immediately be deployed. He soon found himself an area just outside of Kandahar, Afghanistan.
Shawn’s unit was hit hard during his deployment. His company had three ‘killed in action’ (KIA), with six total in his battalion. Shawn himself suffered two traumatic brain injuries, one from a recoilless rifle that almost took his life. Upon leaving Afghanistan Shawn thought the danger would be over, but it was just beginning. “A lot of us had a hard time adjusting” Shawn remembers, a feeling, sadly, not uncommon for returning combat veterans.
Kevin Wiles, a former VA councilor who specializes in substance abuse and PTSD for the VA Department, explains that substance abuse is a disease of denial. Veterans think people are unable to understand them, so they isolate themselves and refuse treatment. “Anxiety, depression, these are hallmarks of PTSD” says Kevin.
After returning home, Shawn was prescribed pills for anxiety, depression, and insomnia. He also self-medicated, using “alcohol, drugs, I searched for a rush of excitement” says Shawn. Unfortunately he soon found his grades slipping. “Back at Temple I was top of my class, Dean’s list, and now I was failing classes” explains Shawn “luckily I have people in my life who told me I needed to get help.”
It was at that point Shawn realized he wasn’t meant to be in medical school, and switched his course of study to art therapy. “With my art, when I’m there, it just calms my nerves. Clears my mind.” Shawn explains. And while Shawn hopes his new career path will allow him to help others, he may be trying to help figure out himself. Explaining, “I’ve gotta be able to do what I wanna do. And that’s art.”