http://youtu.be/-l9hlvckW4Q

Luxury Student Housing Response to Rising Enrollment at UO

Adjusting the blue hard hat on his head, Austin Snyder tentatively walks into the cool darkness of bare concrete and metal. Following a crowd of other students, he steps into a partially completed sleek, spacious living room of the apartment in which he would be living the following school year- Apartment 206 of the Hub on Campus. Snyder’s future roommate, Chandler Carroll, nudges him with an elbow, gleefully noting that their soon-to-be-home is located next to the fitness center, tanning room, and yoga room. “Dude, all the girls are gonna be on our floor.”

Their hard hat tour concludes on the roof of the 12 story-building, where the students are shown the 32-person hot tub, pool, and sand volleyball court.

While such amenities may seem out-of-place for a student housing complex, The Hub will become one of about six or seven “luxury” student apartments that have popped up in quick succession since 2011. 2125 Franklin and 1414 Kincaid are also undergoing construction for a grand opening in Fall 2015. These apartments are three of Eugene’s top ten most expensive construction permits this year. The recent luxury housing boom appears to be largely fueled by students like Snyder and Carroll who are coming from out of the state- including a large influx from China- who are seeking better housing that is an upgrade from the older standard boxy apartments common in south and west Eugene.

New apartments like The Hub are classified as “luxury student housing” due to their modern look and emphasis on catering towards students. This commonly includes amenities like fully furnished rooms, study spaces, fitness centers, pools, and lounge areas. The convenience of such amenities in one location is attractive to students like Carroll. “Free printing. That sold me, right there.” While grandiose resort-like amenities like the community and private hot tubs are unique to the Hub, modern features in design are common amongst the other luxury student apartments in Eugene. They advertise “urban loft style units” (13^th and Olive) and “euro-style cabinetry” (Uncommon). And, of course, the title “luxury” comes with a more expensive price tag, with rooms starting at about $600-700 per room/person.

Snyder and Carroll are two of 4,893 Californians attending the U of O this year. According to the University of Oregon Office of Institutional Research, non-resident enrollment began increasing in 2007 when only 4,626 students were not from Oregon. While resident enrollment has maintained relatively stable at about 12,000 students every year, non-resident enrollment has increased every year since then. This year, a staggering 9,278 non-resident students are enrolled. Jonathon Jacobs, the Director of Enrollment Management Records at the UO, attributes this rise to the fact that state subsidies for in-state saw a decline during the recession and is even now low compared to other schools nationwide. “What that means is to fully fund our programs, it does help to have the out of state tuition to help support programs for all students,” he said. Non-resident students, whether international or domestic, pay about triple the tuition in-state students pay. He says that since 2007, the university has put more effort into outreach and recruitment, particularly in California and China. Gordon Anslow, a student housing developer of Anslow & Degenealut Inc, said in an interview with OregonLive that wealthier out-of-state students who can afford the tuition are driving the demand for nicer living spaces.

International student enrollment has also shot up 114 percent since 2009. And, of the almost 3,000 international students at UO this year, 63% of them are from China. Paolo Daniele, an international student advisor and exchange program coordinator at UO’s Office of International Affairs, cites several reasons for this.“First reason I can think of is just the economy is doing a lot better, especially a lot better than ours. So, it kinda encourages students, and encourages families to invest in their kids and send them abroad to study,” he said. “Also we have a strong businesses program and that attracts a lot of students from China who are interested in getting into that field.” According to the International Student and Scholar services 2013-14 report, 30 percent of international students are businesses majors at the University of Oregon.

Robert Hardin, Assistant Director of Admissions for International Recruitment, says that the University has had a higher profile in recent years, particularly with the success of Duck sports teams and affiliation with Nike. Caroll was watching a Ducks football game one day, and decided that he wanted to look into the University of Oregon. Snyder initially came to the University of Oregon because he was interested in sports business. “Since Nike University and all, it seemed like a good choice,” he says.

Hardin also says that Oregon is attractive to parents sending their children overseas because of it’s close proximity to China. The high number of students from California and China is reflected in the student housing market. Becky Bates, property manager at The Hub, says that many of their leases have been from student from California, while there have been very few from the local area. She also says that she sees many more international students than she is used to. “Right now we have about 30 to 40 percent international students,” she said. After recently hiring Kady Chen, a bilingual Chinese employee, she says she has seen an influx of international students. The Hub has also recently become an annual sponsor of Pretty in China Entertainment, a non-profit group created by a group of Chinese international students. In return for providing a discount, PiC promotes the Hub to it’s members. Even local real estate companies like Bell have hired on a Chinese employee to act as a liaison with the growing international student community. Other housing complexes such as Courtside and Skybox have an ongoing relationship with UO’s American Language Institute, the primary program for international students.

Chen says that the Chinese students that she works with are drawn to the better quality and newer buildings of luxury student housing complexes like The Hub, 13^th and Olive, and Uncommon, to name a few. She says that nearly all Chinese students are funded by their parents. This statement is echoed by Tracy Chen, a senior majoring in journalism and a former member of PiC. “Personally, I would rather live in a nicer place than an old one, ” she said. “I know most of my friends feel the same way, and if we told our parents about a new place we want to live in that’s a lot nicer, they would say to live in that one.” She says that many Chinese students, including herself are used to a certain quality of living back home, and therefore seek out nicer housing. Tracy also says that the more aggressive advertising of luxury apartments is effective in getting attention from international students who are unfamiliar with Eugene. With flashy, well-designed websites and booths and flyers around campus, apartments like The Hub are the first apartments that many students become aware of.

At the hard hat tour of The Hub, Caroll, who enjoys cooking, nods with approval as Becky Bates gestures towards the black quartz countertops which will be furnished with stainless steel appliances. As an out-of-state student, a furnished apartment was a main factor in his choice of housing. Snyder, at 6’2, says that the nine-foot ceiling was a major draw. Located just minutes away from campus on East Broadway, The Hub will be the second tallest building in Eugene.

Core Campus, a student housing company based in Austin, Texas, has built Hub apartments in various states. Bates says that the company has a development team that scopes out new college towns three or four years before construction begins. “They look at things like enrollment trends, and what kind of housing is currently offered,” she said. “We felt that the student housing market was underserved here. It was a lot of smaller communities all over that were aging.”

The U of O’s rising enrollment of non-residents, who are prime customers for new student housing, was a goldmine for companies like Core Campus. However, since 2012, enrollment has been flat. Hardin says that the university is not looking to grow dramatically anytime soon. Policy changes reflect this statement. In 2012, the automatic admission policy in which student’s with a certain GPA were automatically admitted was completely dropped.

As a Eugene resident, Hardin worries that the student housing bubble may pop. The Oregon University System projects enrollment will grow by 28 students in the upcoming school year, yet The Hub, 2125 Patterson, and 1414 Kincaid will all open for Fall 2015 with a combined 1444 beds. As of the beginning of March, The Hub has filled 27 percent of their capacity. With the start of the spring housing season, they have seen a significant increase in the rate of leases. Whether or not all the new luxury student apartments will be filled by the start of next school year remains to be seen.

Aly Lee

J 483 Journalistic Interview/ Alex Tizon

Report and Source List

2/19/15

My story will be about the changing face of off-campus housing in Eugene, Oregon- a response to the rise in student enrollment, including the growth in international student enrollment. Key players in my story would be students who are looking into these luxury housing complexes, the university, and a couple of the real estate companies in town. I would pick one student to be my main focus, and track the story through their eyes. I would investigate why this new kind of housing is in demand even though it is so expensive, and also what impact it is having on the community, like if it is causing smaller, older complexes to go out of business. I would also like to examine if this means that more money is coming into the local economy from college students who are funded by their parents, whether they come from overseas or from within the states. I could also tell the story from the perspective of a local landlord who is struggling to fill vacancies due to these flashy new complexes. I want to seek out what is changing about students who are coming into the University of Oregon that warrants such a change in type of housing.

Becky Bates– Property Manager for “The Hub On Campus” Student Housing Complex

195 Lynnbrook Drive, Eugene OR 97404

bbates@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/becky.bates.56/about

• As the property manager of a luxury student housing complex on campus opening next fall, she would be an ideal person to interview about what kind of demand that is being seen by realtors and companies for such luxurious and expensive student housing. She says in an interview with KEZI that, “We felt that the Eugene Market is under served. We’ve seen increasing growth at the university and a big strong demand for housing…” I would ask her follow up questions based on this interview. Interestingly, The Hub just became Pretty In China Entertainment’s newest annual sponsor.

Inc Chen- Leader of Pretty In China Entertainment

72 Broadway, Suite 220 Eugene, OR 97401

whatsup@prettyinchina.com

• I found out through research that Pretty in China has a partnership with The Hub, The Pearl, and The Patterson, all of which are luxury student housing complexes. I would like to talk to Inc about this partnership to find out if the demand for this kind of housing has been coming from the increasing number of foreign exchange students who might be bringing money into the local economy.

Corey Dingman

Partner at Duncan and Brown Real Estate Appraisal Firm

260 West 12^th Street Eugene, OR 97401

corey@duncanandbrown.com

• Corey Dingman tracks student-focused housing in Eugene, and is quoted for some good information in an article. I think he will give some good perspective as a third party that is neither a renter nor a landlord or anyone else connected to a specific rental company. Because he has watched it closely, there may be things he knows that other people don’t.

Michael Griffel, Ph.D- Director, University Housing

Office of the Dean of Students

Division of Student Affairs

164 Oregon Hall 5216 University of Oregon Eugene, OR 97403

5413463216

communiversity@uoregon.edu/ mgriffel@uoregon.edu

• I believe that Michael Griffel can give insight into what kinds of students are looking for luxury student housing, and why. In the University of Oregon pamphlet guide to off-campus housing, many of the suggested options are big luxury complexes like The Pearl, Patterson, etc. I want to ask him why these are suggested to students by the university.

Eugene Weekly/ Shannon Finnell <

http://www.eugeneweekly.com/20131010/lead-story/new-bubble

/p>

• This article examines the student housing bubble and the demand for housing. It gives me lots of good research and numbers, as well as other sources I can reach out to. It also gives basic information about the current state of the student housing bubble.

International Student and Scholar Services 2012-2013 Annual Report

https://international.uoregon.edu/sites/international2.uoregon.edu/files/isss/2012_ISSS_AR.pdf

• I think that this source will contribute good facts about the rising number of international students in recent years, which is important to take into account when considering student population growth that drives up demand for off-campus student housing. Also it could lead to finding answers to questions like, what kind of housing placement programs are there to help international students? And are they considered the same target consumer as domestic students?

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Flashy+Ducks+feeding+student+housing+frenzy.-a0350705386

Don Kahle- Register Guard

• This author writes a weekly column for the Register Guard, and has many opinions and writings on the new housing trend. It would be interesting to interview him and see where he gets the research and inspiration for the things the housing concerns that he writes about.

 

My dad grew up as a 7th day Adventist. He would often refer to the church as a cult, and tell me about attending St. Andrews University, an institution where all to-be ministers went to study. He told me about how if you wore jeans, you’d get in major trouble, and if a guy was caught in the girls dorms, they’d get kicked out. Growing up, he would tell me these little snippets of stories, but I never heard the full story of how he ended up leaving the church/cult.

He had been groomed by his mother to become a minister someday. Out of 6 siblings, he was the one she chose; he was the “golden child.” As a kid, he was raised very strictly. While other kids were outside playing in the sun, he was stuck inside reading a black and white encyclopedia. All 22 volumes of it. HIs mother encouraged whatever interest he had, but it was always fake. When he started drawing a lot, she told everyone that he was going to become a great painter. She brought him into her kindergarden classroom where she taught, and had him do a presentation of his art. Him, at 8 years old, giving a presentation of his supposedly wonderful art to kids just a couple years younger than him. He recalls now that they weren’t anything special, but his mother made him believe he was special.

Throughout middle school, he never really agreed with the teachings of the 7th day Adventist bible. He would sometimes teach Sunday school in the basement of the church, but he would speak about the teachings in a way that was borderline not deemed appropriate by the elders. He wouldn’t cross the line, but he would give his own interpretations of the bible. As he got older, he was always discontented with the church, but it had such a hold on him that it wasn’t until he was 27 that he was finally able to break free.

He had returned to Michigan to go to grad school at Michigan State University. There, in East Lansing, he met and befriended a young, passionate, outgoing pastor who was working on a youth revival for the church. This pastor became a sort of older brother figure to my dad, and they would often have long talks about the religion and the bible. At this point in time, my dad was reading literature like Emerson and Thoreau, psychology, and philosophy. Through his education he came to disagree with the teachings of his church more and more. Finally one day, he sat down with his pastor friend, Michael, and posed some questions to him, saying that if he couldn’t answer those questions, he was going to leave the church.

One of the questions my dad asked the pastor was, “Jesus says if your hand offends, then cut it off, if your eye lusts after a woman, pluck it out. These are obviously sexual references, but if sex is a natural part of humans, why is it evil?” Michael could not answer any of my dads questions, and finally told him that he had done his research and studying, and that he knew more about literature and psychology than he did, and that my dad was right. So then, my dad asked Michael why, if he knew the truth about the religion, was he still a pastor? With tears in his eyes, Michael told my dad that he had a wife and two kids at home who were depending on him, and that becoming a pastor was all he knew, and what his life path had set him on. He said he didn’t know anything else.

My dad, however, was able to break free. Afterwards, he said he felt so liberated and happy that when he returned to his horrendously messy apartment to find his good friend there, he wasn’t even embarrassed about the mess because he was just so happy. His relationship with his mom was strained through this decision, of course. But he was able to reconnect with his non-religious father who he had been distant from his whole childhood because of how he was raised by his Mom. When I was young, he made my grandma promise to never speak about the teachings of the 7th Day Adventist church to me, or else she was not allowed to see me.

Young children born in this modern era of technology are increasingly prone to spending their days inside, eyes glued to a television screen or game console while the world outside slips by. But about four decades ago, one young Swedish boy spent his childhood in the vast wilderness of Minnesota, photographing “rocks and roots” with his father, reading adventure stories, and sometimes even skipping school to “escape” and explore the great outdoors. The circumstances of his childhood would ultimately shape his life.

Today, Torsten Kjellstrand is a professor of Journalism at the University of Oregon, but at his core, he is a storyteller passionate about actively going out into the world to explore the human experience. Scotch-taped on the glass wall looking into his office are simple printed cut outs of pictures from the trip to Alaska to find stories about climate change that he took students on last summer. Inside, dressed in his signature casual look of plaid button down shirt and jeans, Kjellstrand, a grey-haired man in his mid-50’s with the athletic build and energy of a younger man sits comfortably at his desk. He invites me in with a welcoming smile has the knack of putting anyone at ease. His red bike helmet and bright yellow neon jacket that he puts on for his daily three mile bike commute sits in a neat pile next to his desk.

Though becoming a teacher was Kjellstrand’s original plan upon graduating with a degree in English from a small town college in Minnesota decades ago, it has only been two years since he became a professor. “It was clear to me as a young man that I was not good at sitting still, so I needed something more active,” Kjellstrand said. So, he cross- country skied semi-professionally in Europe for two years and also worked in construction. “I loved that,” Kjellstrand said, “But that was too far in the other direction. It was all about activity and I was too intellectually restless.” From there, he began writing for newspapers.

Kjellstrand’s active personality was largely attributed to his childhood, during which he spent much of his time outdoors, hiking, canoeing, fishing, and hunting with his parents. So, living in the suburbs as opposed to a rural farming community was hard for him. Kjellstrand said, “I spent a lot of time and energy escaping, either physically by leaving and going to places I felt more comfortable with, or just psychologically by reading adventure stories.” When he began writing for newspapers, he again felt the need to escape, this time from the writing room. He did so by turning to photojournalism. “It was a better fit because you have to get out into the world, you meet people, you’re moving, you’re messing around with things, but you also have to have your brain activated the whole time,” he said. For 25 years, Kjellstrand worked as a photographer and storyteller in newspapers across the country, gaining recognition as an award-winning storyteller through his pictures. “Stories are how I make sense of the world,” he said. Even as a child, this was the case for Kjellstrand, who, instead of learning the names of birds from a field guide, learned them from stories about birds.

Kjellstrand’s stories focus on those who are often misrepresented or not represented at all-farmers in rural communities, Native Americans, and immigrant communities. Growing up as an immigrant and being unsure of where he belonged, living in rural communities, and working with his hands fueled his interest in representing people who are often seen as just a statistic. “I think that’s what stories do. They turn people into three-dimensional characters,” Kjellstrand said.

At the same time, the nature of his parents made a permanent impression on Kjellstrand and how he saw the world. When he was young, a worker was unsuccessfully trying to fix something in their home with a foul attitude and mood. Rather than getting angry and berating the worker, his mother sat him down with a cup of coffee and asked him what was going on with him. “What I learned from them was to be kind, really,” Kjellstrand said, “It’s just a gift I got from my parents.” His wife, Jean, a woman in her mid 50-s with the grace of a dancer, gentle personality and fit build like her husband, associates her husband’s kind nature with the work that he does. “What makes him kind is that he is very accepting of a variety of people and a variety of situations. Because of that he is able to make people feel comfortable,” Jean said, “He gives of himself if people need help.”

Now, as a teacher, Kjellstrand applies the same values of kindness when it comes to his students. One student, Li Li Bayarmagnai, recalls one day when she was feeling stressed and overburdened with school work. “Torsten came up to me and said, are you ok?” Tears began to stream down her face as she replied that she was. He persisted, asking her if he could buy her a cup of coffee. Recalling the encounter, Bayarmagnai clasps her hands under her chin and leans forward in great earnest, her voice building in volume ad speeding up as she gains momentum.“It’s such a warm and very human thing to do, it’s just so nice,” Bayarmagnai said, “The way he understood me…touched me.”

While Kjellstrand misses going out into communities and finding stories on a regular basis, he has replaced that passion with teaching. “Now I’m participating in the story of students,” he said, “There’s a deep satisfaction with that. It feels like I’ve made a trade and I don’t regret that trade at all.” The spirit of the young Swedish boy is still evident in Kjellstrand’s personality. Today, he is still escaping into the outdoors, where he feels most at home, and into the world through storytelling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Torsten Kjellstrand, an Assistant Professor of Practice at the University of Oregon’s School of Journalism and Communication, has been a photojournalist and writer for over 25 years, and has more recently taken up filmmaking. Torsten took time out of his busy schedule to talk to me about his immigration from Sweden and his life-long affinity for nature and the outdoors.

How did you end up moving from Sweden to the United States?

I was only nine when we moved to this country. So I came because my parents came. They’re adventurers- they came to Minnesota in part because they wanted to go canoeing in the vast wilderness between the Minnesota-Canadian border and Hudson Bay. They thought of it as an interesting adventure. I lived in Minnesota through college.

Do you prefer the United States to Sweden? Which one is home to you?

There’s a part of me that will always feel like Sweden is home. There’s a deep groove I fall into kind of emotionally and just the way I think when I go back home to Sweden that I can’t replicate here. That said, I have become very American over the decades. So I don’t completely fit in in Sweden either. We spend as much of our summers as we can in northern Minnesota in a little cabin that we own there on the edge of the wilderness, and that is probably the place that I feel the most at home in North America.

How do you feel when you’re outside in the wilderness?

When I’m outside by myself or with people I’m comfortable around, it’s when I feel the most like myself. When I’m in the woods or in wide open spaces too, really anywhere that feels like the natural world, that’s when I feel like my most instinctive skills, the skills that I’m best at because of who I am and not what I’ve learned are most at play. Of course I wasn’t born learning how to build fires, but that just feels like that just grows out a deeper part of me and how I grew up.

By how you grew up, do you mean because your parents were wilderness people?

Yeah, we spent a lot of time outside. And I used to skip a lot of school to go hang out in the woods. We lived in the suburbs, the real suburbs with shopping malls and all the horrific stuff. I did have a strong sense that I wanted to escape all the time. I spent a lot of time and energy escaping, either physically by leaving and going to places I felt more comfortable with, or just psychologically by reading adventure stuff. Either stories about people who spent time outside or reading about how to build snow caves or how to rope up if you were going to climb a mountain in the winter, silliness like that.

How do you think that translates into your life today?

I’m still escaping, it’s what I do. When I have time, I do not go to the movies. I sure as hell don’t go shopping in shopping malls. If there is a hell I’m convinced that its a shopping mall with not enough ventilation with video games in the background.

With such a strong affinity for nature, did you ever consider being a nature photographer as opposed to the work with ethnic and minority people you do now?

That’s actually kind of how I got my start in photography. My father and I would go into the woods together and make photographs of roots and rocks and critters. And then later as I got a little older, we would go hunt in the fall, which was just an excuse to get outside. And so was photography, it was just an excuse to go to beautiful places and try to make a few pictures. The pictures weren’t really the point until much later. I do sometimes wonder why I didn’t make that my living, but part of it is I still think of the United States as an exotic place. I haven’t been everywhere in the world, but I think we are the strangest collection of cultures I’ve ever been around. And it’s stunning the number of different ways people find to make their life work, and to find meaning in their place on the planet. And I’m really interested in that.

You asked me, if my boyfriend did have any doubts about our relationship, what would it be?

I know it sounds narcissistic to say that my boyfriend is completely set on me, but I think it’s just the way he is. I think perhaps even if it weren’t me, he would feel that way about a long term girlfriend. He’s just the kind of modest, honest, and kind of introverted guy who isn’t that into dating a bunch of people and such. Of course he wasn’t always like that. He was actually an asshole in high school. But that was definitely something he grew out of, thank goodness. I’ve asked  him before, and he said dating is a hassle he doesn’t like to deal with. So in that sense, when I say he’s set on me, I don’t say it out of narcissism, like it’s ME that he’s set on, but more like he’s comfortable in a long term, serious relationship.

I think that his doubts about our relationship stem from my past mistakes. It took a while to regain his trust, and at the same time I don’t think it’ll ever be 100% regained. Maybe 99.8 %, but that .2% of doubt about my faithfulness is still there. I also this his doubts are also based on my own fears. Sometimes he jokes about how if we ever broke up I’d find someone else in an instant, and I’d forget all about him. Obviously this isn’t true. The one time that we did break up, after my senior year of high school, I missed him every single day till we got together, even though I did date someone else during that time. If there’s anything that convinces me that we’re supposed to be together, it’s that deep chasm that appears in my heart when we’re separated. We were broken up for about 8 months, but the moment we got back together in my freshman year of college, it was like everything fell into place and I felt right again. I think his doubts about our relationship may be that I’ll take my fears to heart and break up with him or something, but the more I think about it and write about it, I just could not fathom my life without him, so I think both our doubts are just the expected fears of young 20-somethings who are in a serious relationship. And honestly, we haven’t had any big problems in so long. We bicker and fight about who did the dishes last or whose fault it was that the living room was cluttered, but it’s been over a year since we’ve had a serious issue.

I think moving to Korea together will be the true test of our relationship. A new life, new friends, new place. If we can survive that and be happy, then I think we’ll be happy anywhere always. I can’t wait to travel the world with him and experience new things together. I really couldn’t imagine anyone else I’d like to do that with.

As if he’d just finished his morning coffee, Hector Tobar walked into our class with a liveliness in his gait. His casual attire, coupled with an easy smile and twinkling eyes exuded a sense of ease. In the hour that he was with our class, what struck me most was his character. Every answer he gave was thoughtful and compelling. He must have been asked many of the same questions before, but he answered each of them thoroughly as if it were his first time answering it. Before each question he would take a moment and do something with his body, like lean forward and clasp his hands together, or lean back and put both hands down on the table in front of him, or take his glasses off and rub his face, or, my favorite- rub his his bald head with the tips of his fingers, as if he was massaging the answer out of his brain. He did this before he answered my question.

I asked him how he managed to trim down his 7-10 hours of interview per person to just a few anecdotes, and how he deemed one worthy to make it into the book. Part of his answer was to be brutal with your own work, to cut and cut away. This struck a chord with me because it is what I often have the most trouble with. I admire the fact that his book wasn’t a 1,000 page monstrosity, considering all the material he had to work with. He also said to get help from others on your blind spots, which I never do- but will from now on, because he is absolutely right.

Hector had an almost constant smile on his face, and even when a smile wasn’t on his face, it showed in his twinkling eyes. I thought it was striking also that he chose to share intimate details of his life- that he battled a life-long depression- with students he’d met for the first time. From that, I got the impression that he was the kind of guy who wasn’t out to impress anyone. He was casual, laid back, and open, like he had nothing to hide. And thus, he seemed comfortable with himself. I never would have guessed that he struggled with depression, which just goes to show what you don’t know about people at first glance. It was truly an honor to meet such an accomplished writer and person. I would love to take a class with him sometime in the future!

Do you ever get scared or unsure about your long-term relationship with your high school sweetheart?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend since my junior year of college, so almost 5 years total. In that time we’ve both matured and changed so much, and of course we’ve also had our ups and downs. At this point it’s crazy to think that we’ve been living together for almost 3 years and we’re basically like an old married couple. We’re super co-dependent, but in a good way. We’ve done everything together for four of those years. We’re so completely comfortable around each other to the point that it’s kind of weird. I mean yesterday, he farted on me. So I licked his face, and we laughed. We’re moving to Korea together for a couple years to teach English, which is crazy. That makes me feel really old.

But yeah, it’s scary. Certain times more so than other times. Sometimes I’ll get kind of freaked out about the fact that we’re both in silent, and sometimes casually spoken agreement that we’ll get married someday. At this point, this is it, you know? I couldn’t imagine my life without him, and at the same time it terrifies me because life is a long time! Sometimes I feel like a bad person because he’s so completely happy and satisfied with me, no second thoughts. But me, I’ve done things I regret that have hurt him that I feel terrible about, but at the same time I feel like if I hadn’t, it would’ve happened eventually. I’m not sure if that’s me being a bad person, or just being human. I wish it wasn’t human. I really wish I could have no second thoughts, no doubts, because I do love him so, so much. If there’s such a thing as a soul mate, this seems like it. But I mean, he’s all I really know, so how would I know if he’s my soul mate? Maybe we have more than one soul mate, maybe there’s no such thing as a soul mate.

We were each others firsts, if you know what I mean. And that’s a crazy thing, to think at 22 that you’re going to marry the person you lost your virginity to. I still haven’t quite figured it out, but right now I’m happy. I know once in a while I’ll get that feeling of slight regret that I never did the “college” thing, and went on a bunch of dates with other people and experimented, whatever. I’ll never really know if there was someone out there better for me. That I’m not as concerned about. When that thought crosses my mind, I just think, hey, I was just lucky enough to find someone I love right off the bat. I didn’t have to go through a bunch of searching and heartbreak like I hear about from my friends.

What scares the hell out of me is, will I still feel this way in 5 years? 10? 20? 50? I see new couples among my friends going through the “honeymoon” phase, where every text from that person you like makes your heart skip a beat, and you take a breath before you open it up. It’s silly really, but it’s cute, and I love that first part of a relationship. I loved that when I went through it with Corey, and it makes me sad that I’ll never experience that again. That’s what I struggle with. But again, I just tell myself, you’re lucky. We have a wonderful relationship, and he loves me fully and completely, and I still can’t believe how completely set on me he is. He doesn’t understand what I go through, and I try not to let it show. I know what we have is something deeper and greater than frivolous relationships and flirting at bars. I just hope as I get older, I’ll become completely content with what I have, without a single doubt.

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