You asked me, if my boyfriend did have any doubts about our relationship, what would it be?

I know it sounds narcissistic to say that my boyfriend is completely set on me, but I think it’s just the way he is. I think perhaps even if it weren’t me, he would feel that way about a long term girlfriend. He’s just the kind of modest, honest, and kind of introverted guy who isn’t that into dating a bunch of people and such. Of course he wasn’t always like that. He was actually an asshole in high school. But that was definitely something he grew out of, thank goodness. I’ve asked  him before, and he said dating is a hassle he doesn’t like to deal with. So in that sense, when I say he’s set on me, I don’t say it out of narcissism, like it’s ME that he’s set on, but more like he’s comfortable in a long term, serious relationship.

I think that his doubts about our relationship stem from my past mistakes. It took a while to regain his trust, and at the same time I don’t think it’ll ever be 100% regained. Maybe 99.8 %, but that .2% of doubt about my faithfulness is still there. I also this his doubts are also based on my own fears. Sometimes he jokes about how if we ever broke up I’d find someone else in an instant, and I’d forget all about him. Obviously this isn’t true. The one time that we did break up, after my senior year of high school, I missed him every single day till we got together, even though I did date someone else during that time. If there’s anything that convinces me that we’re supposed to be together, it’s that deep chasm that appears in my heart when we’re separated. We were broken up for about 8 months, but the moment we got back together in my freshman year of college, it was like everything fell into place and I felt right again. I think his doubts about our relationship may be that I’ll take my fears to heart and break up with him or something, but the more I think about it and write about it, I just could not fathom my life without him, so I think both our doubts are just the expected fears of young 20-somethings who are in a serious relationship. And honestly, we haven’t had any big problems in so long. We bicker and fight about who did the dishes last or whose fault it was that the living room was cluttered, but it’s been over a year since we’ve had a serious issue.

I think moving to Korea together will be the true test of our relationship. A new life, new friends, new place. If we can survive that and be happy, then I think we’ll be happy anywhere always. I can’t wait to travel the world with him and experience new things together. I really couldn’t imagine anyone else I’d like to do that with.