“The American Male at Age Ten”

by Susan Orlean

http://www.courses.vcu.edu/ENG200-dwc/orlean.htm

The introduction begins with very descriptive and precise scene setting. I was able to visualize the subject’s physical appearance and also get a grasp for what he likes and his personality. The visual storytelling was excellent, but I could not tell where the author was leading. Even by the end of the second paragraph, I didn’t know the subject of the piece.

A few paragraphs later, Orlean describes Colin, the subject, using a series of short, simple sentences that relentlessly list off a large chunk of information that does not seem necessary, at least at that point in the profile. It begins to read in a rushed voice and repeating the many of the clauses with ‘he…’ On the other hand, I enjoyed the way Orlean described Colin’s future education plans. She did it in a playful way that showed his personally and the information fell into place.

Throughout the piece, sentences continue to be arbitrarily placed, it seems, as if they were pulled out of a hat until almost half way through the article. The smallest details are mentioned and it really jumps out as a strong and showing paragraph.

“Danny’s Pizzeria is a dark little shop next door to the Montclair Cooperative School. It is not much to look at. Outside, the brick facing is painted muddy brown. Inside, there are some saggy counters, a splintered bench, and enough room for either six teenagers or about a dozen ten-year-olds who happen to be getting along well. The light is low. The air is oily. At Danny’s, you will find pizza, candy, Nintendo, and very few girls. To a ten-year-old boy, it is the most beautiful place in the world.”

I also found it interesting that the author chose to focus a dialogue and two healthy paragraphs on the Street Fighter game. Its importance to Colin is evident, but I found that a lot of space, too much in this case, was dedicated to the game.

As the story continued I found myself torn between if the style worked for the subject or not. I understood that the author tried to emulate the thought process of a 10-year-old child, specifically Colin, but the style of choppy writing made it difficult to get into; however, my favorite part of the story was the last paragraph. I didn’t understand the main point of the profile and it didn’t answer the So What? question, but it was brilliantly written:

“It was almost too dark to see much of anything, although now and again the light from the deck would glance off a length of line, and it would glint and sparkle. “That’s the point,” he said. “You could do it with thread, but the fishing line is invisible. Now I have this perfect thing and the only one who knows about it is me.” With that, he dropped the spool, skipped up the stairs of the deck, threw open the screen door, and then bounded into the house, leaving me and Sally the dog trapped in his web.”

“Kanye West Has a Goblet”

by Jonah Weiner

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2010/08/kanye_west_has_a_goblet.single.html

The hook of this profile did not work in this case. It was really out of place and seemed to serve no function in getting into the real story. The second graf, however, was very well written, concise, and informative. I also found the author’s use of quotes effective and tasteful. I like how the author set up the backstory on West’s experience with journalists and why he takes the extreme measures to avoid being misquoted. Before we read the profile, we already have a good sense of him.

Even though the quotes become slightly more scarce, the author varies the length and tone of each.  Sometimes he says he doesn’t want to be “’limited by the art form of rap,’ and sometimes he sets his sights higher and says he doesn’t want to be limited by the 21^st century: ‘When I think of competition it’s like I try to create against the past. I think about Michelangelo and Picasso, you know, the pyramids,’ he says.”

When describing important moments in his life, Weiner also brings in and references the current events at the time. This was helpful to clarify the timeline and also to know how these events effected West and his decisions.

By then end of the profile, I was really able to appreciate the underlying tones and  highly subtle attitude of the author that slipped through. It appeared that even though the author’s voice isn’t supposed to show, Weiner’s bias made appearances in how he quoted and in his sentence structures.

“At his apartment today, West says he’s ‘working on being a doper person,’ but he seems to be feeling pretty dope as it is. ‘This is gonna be a dope ass day,’ he says. ‘Life is awesome,’ hesays. ‘I love me,’ he says.”

“When West says something like ‘I love me,’ the words carry some irony. One of his favorite fictional characters is Ron Burgundy, from Anchorman—an arrogant, preening blowhard who exults in his stupidity, blissfully unaware of how ridiculous he is. When West raps, ‘I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal,’ quoting from Anchorman, it’s both a boast and a parody of one.”

As a reader, I was able to pick out the humor in it even though the author’s intentions were not aimed to be outwardly funny. He was able to stick to the quotes and not disfigure West’s image, while still using his own voice and observations.