By Haley Martin

“Legacy’s ‘Dance for Couples’ class aims to rekindle intimacy during and after cancer,” By Katy Muldoon

http://www.oregonlive.com/health/index.ssf/2012/10/legacys_dance_for_couples_clas.html

Muldoon structured this story nicely, using various “camera angles” to tell the story.  I like how the reporter lead the story with a visual, describing a scene where a man is dancing with his wife. She did a nice job of bringing the readers right there to the event with her. After she captured our interest, she backed up to a “wider camera angle” and explained some details about the Legacy Cancer Healing Center and the reason they are holding the dance classes. She then transitioned to a specific dancer and incorporated some quotes that explained his experience in the program. Even though it was brief, it was important to include a personal account.

This piece kept my interest because it had an emotional factor, yet also a positive outlook on something that is normally not so positive. The piece had an optimistic tone which is always nice in a piece that discusses something like cancer.

Muldoon uses beautiful description in her writing. This scene was especially vivid to me:  “There, chandeliers deliver soft light. The hardwood floor, inlaid with a graceful labyrinth, provides room to move. And in a throwback to high-school-dance days, folding chairs, perches for the weary or the wallflowers, line the walls.”

The piece was concluded well, ending on a happy note. I thought it would have added to the story if the reporter also interviewed the man’s wife, since the piece is about bringing couples back together.

“Low Lights, Good Drinks, and Welcoming Soundtracks,” By Steve Reddicliffe

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/10/booming/wine-bars-in-westchester-new-and-old.html?ref=dining

This piece was short and simple, describing a new bar in New York. The reported chose to lead by mentioning that this is one of many bars of the sort that has opened recently in the suburban area of Westchester. While that is interesting, I would have included that detail later and started right in the restaurant with a detailed description of the atmosphere or their specialty drink.

The writer did a nice job of detailing the sights and sounds of the bar, including specific songs on the playlist and mentioning the architecture of the building. The writer then describes a competing bar . Even though it was short and to the point, it left me wanting to try both places, giving just enough detail about the menu and the atmosphere. The only quote used was a short one from an interview with the owner. While this was a good addition, I thought the piece would have benefitted by a quote from a customer, so we can get the opinion of an everyday person and it would have made it more relatable.