Throughout my life, I never gave much attention to what I wore. Coming from a small school and small town, I never needed to stand out and so comfort and practicality was my number one priority. However, looking back on my life with this chapter in mind, I can see ways in which my dress reflected my personal values. In high school and even in college, I only wear t-shirts, except for in formal occasions. I never wore polos or any other kind of casual collared shirt. If I was not wearing basketball sweats or shorts, I wore jeans or cargo shorts. Mostly, this was because they were comfortable and practical. In addition, I took pride in wearing my tennis shoes until they literally started falling apart. My only clothing decision that was particularly individual was that I wore knee-high socks every day of high school and until my sophomore year of college. On one hand, I liked the way the socks fit around my shins, but there was another side of me that enjoyed having something that was completely unique. I started wearing them for basketball games and it became a habit.
All of my clothing choices are representative of my frugality and my belief that money should be spent on qualitative improvements and not superficial ones. In fact, I vividly remember going shoe shopping and looking for the most cheaply priced shoe. When people I knew spent a ridiculous amount of money on clothes, part of me would actually get angry. Friend would buy $100 shoes and I would think that the only explanation was vanity. My dress also represented my desire not to be linked it with any clique. I was an athlete with athlete friends, but I wore Monty Python t-shirts and dressed a little bit like a dork. I was equal parts athlete, academic, activist, and artist and I never wanted to dress in a way that gave one of my many sides did not take precedence. Once I came to college, I was no longer known like I was in my small hometown, where being an athlete and musician gave me big fish status. However, my dress has not changed much, and if anything has become even more casual and straight-laced. Even more, I do not stand out because I do not necessarily want attention. In fact, even as a singer, I have yet to do anything on stage to stand out. I do not like tattoos or piercings, and I like dressing haphazardly: throwing on a shirt, some pants, putting on my old shoes and going out. As C.R. Sanders says in his first sentence, “A person’s physical appearance affects his or her self-definition, identity, and interaction with others” (1), and for me, I dressed the way I did so that my clothes would take a backseat to other things I thought I could offer.
I still am not sure how my dress was derived from my background. In ways, it can be attributed to where I grew up. Burns is two hours from the nearest shopping mall or clothes store so options were limited. My parents instilled in me a strong sense of responsibility and, even though they encouraged individuality, they made sure I knew at a young age the difference between standing out and actually expressing myself. As cliché as it is, they stressed the importance of inner personality and it never seemed important to have to show off whom I was through my clothes. I was good enough at expressing myself in other ways. My mother disliked tattoos and excessive piercings, and I think we shared opinions that having to rely on those kinds of things was an easy way out of having to develop an interesting personality. Now that I am older, there are tattoos and piercings that I like, and I think I am able to judge each individually for what they stand for. No one in my immediate family dresses differently than I do. Of course, my sister is more fashionable, but even for her, practicality and frugality or more important than appearing to stand out.
As a creative writer, I have often joked that to be a good writer, you must wear a sweater, horned-rimmed glasses, a scarf, and either a fedora or a beret. For some reason, this is a look that my peers associate with thoughtfulness, deep thinking, and intelligence. It is the common day “hipster” look, but it isn’t trying to be ironic as much as it seems to be to fit the part of a writer. I guess I do not think a person can dress intelligently or thoughtfully, but the appeal to other cultures and the colorless garb seems to represent the seriousness and worldliness that a writer is supposed to have.
All in all, I do not think I have ever used my dress to fit in with my peer groups or to assimilate to outside pressures. Still, even in dressing in a way so that my clothes do not define me, it shows off my values. I want to be undefinable and so my clothes are mismatched and put on without much thought, yet they still are clothes I like to wear and that I buy purposefully. So, in the end, my clothes give room for my personality to stand out.