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Chanel,

I was glad to get a chance to review your blog posts. You have been doing a nice job collecting information relevant to your thesis project. I enjoyed reading about the history of the Lloyd District and seeing how you have been collecting data about the local facilities that might compete with your intended project. Your concept of designing an arts center that gives a community focus and identity is sound.

There are several ways that you can develop your work so it has a more professional quality.
1) Explain Why
While you have found useful information, you tend to shy away from explaining what it means, what are the consequences. It could be that when you initially see the information, it is hard to say what you think, and as you work on your project, it will become easier to express into declarative sentences, "The Lloyd District needs a performing arts center because …", "Through designing an ecological performing arts center, I will examine how to foster meaningful social interaction through …", "My thesis focuses on XXX because…"

2) Tell a compelling story
Experiment with ways to give more emotional immediacy to your graphics and 3D images. In general, your blog shows a conscientious development over time with careful use of citations. It has an orderly appearance from your consistently formatted images, galleries and photocollages, showing a good level of care and technical control. On deeper examination, you rely a lot on photographs by others and almost every image is a plan or map image which gives an abstraction and distance to your site.

Remember the cards that Jenny Marx introduced? Can you show more of your own first-hand perceptions and interactions with people and place into these posts? I would love to see you develop your own voice and graphic style through playing with different ways of representing the place. See how you can make your sculptural piece more expressive – try carving, weaving, folding or sculpting materials. Exaggerate the contrast of solid vs. transparent, wiry vs. planar, geometric vs. organic. Consider how color and material can convey relationships.

And finally, work carefully to edit your thesis proposal text to express your ideas in the most direct, concise and powerful way. Make sure that the language is written in parallel format and you eliminate awkward phrasings and spelling errors. Trade documents with a partner as it can be easier to proofread someone else's work.

3) Connect to nature
I really like the way you discuss the district identity at three different scales. It would be great if you could define what you mean by what is "sustainable" for the Lloyd District and relate a reinvigorated cultural vitality to ecological sustainability. Perhaps develop a metaphor… i.e. the dynamics of an organism's respiratory? circulatory? reproductive? system and the social interactions within a community arts center.

Keep going!