Ditsraction is not always accidental. As humans, we tend to use distraction as a tool. Yesterday, I noticed that when I feel stressed out, I purposely distract myself with a book or episode of a TV show for 30 or so minutes. This led to further analysis of when I use distraction to avoid certain feelings or emotions. For obvious reasons, these emotions are always negative, and I seek to completely ignore them by occupying my thoughts with anything besides what I’m really feeling. So, let’s get serious for a second…

Earlier this year, I broke up with the person previously known as my boyfriend (only of 3 months, no biggie). I convinced myself since I broke up with him, I had no reason to be upset. I decided I did not want to think about a person who was recently a priority in my life. When my friends asked how I was doing, I said fine and immediately changed the subject, distracting them from their original question. I started to feel down, so naturally I assured myself that I just needed to get out more often. I began to distract myself by partying too many days a week, which led to distracting myself from not only my feelings but also my scholarly responsibilities. Eventually, my plan of distraction worked, and I completely got over my old relationship without any damage done. Unfortunately, the other outcome resulted in me being reckless because I didn’t want to face my real emotions.

While my original problem did get fixed, making my distraction plan not completely invalid, it didn’t really help my overall situation. After realizing what I had really done, I asked myself why I needed to distract myself from feeling sad or a little bit broken. The feminist part of me thinks that it’s because I wanted to seem like a strong female who wouldn’t let a relationship that fell through break me. The single me probably didn’t want to admit that I was okay with being in a relationship, even if it was for a short amount of time. All in all, myself, the human with emotions, realized that sometimes feelings suck. Distractions allow us to escape the pain of the real world. Ignoring a conflict is never the answer, but sometimes it’s necessary to move on.

Today, as I scanned over my past blog posts, I noticed a pattern. Almost all of my posts were about distraction getting in the way of my productivity. As a college student whose schedule is filled with classes and homework, I am constantly noticing when I get distracted. This class helped me not only understand my distractions, but actually realize when I’m getting distracted. My distraction is most evident when I realize I’ve gotten so sidetracked that I have to cram writing an essay, completing a worksheet, and studying for a test all a couple days before the due date. Although this distraction often results in me stressing out about assignments, I can’t allow myself to believe that distraction is a completely negative thing. I do believe that in order to be a functional human being, staying on task is a definite requirement. However, if man didn’t heavily rely on time, and adult’s schedules weren’t always so calculated, distraction could very much be a positive factor in a young adult or adult’s life. As a child, we weren’t always on a time constraint. Besides dance or soccer practice and the occasional homework, children are more free to be distracted. While adults are being criticized for their distractions, kids were applauded for it when I was younger because it usually resulted in creativity. Although kids of today’s generations are suffering from the negative side of distraction with the introduction to accessible electronics, a different type of distraction could benefit them. As a child, I wasn’t always fixated with a movie or device because I was always using my imagination. My distractions included the outdoors, or a new made-up game, or a playground. Now that I’m older, I find myself jealous of how imaginative children are. I can’t help but think that if my schedule wasn’t always full with due dates and appointments, would I be able to channel my childhood creativity?

I’ve always thought I was good at multitasking. I seem to always be doing multiple things at once in my day-to-day activities. When I’m shopping, I can text, give my friend advice on which shirt I like better, and pick out clothes for myself all at the same time. I can do simple homework assignments while watching Netflix. If I’m reading, I am most likely listening to music also. Today, I reflected on if I can actually multitask during more important activities.

Uncomplicated chores like checking my phone or having a conversation with my friends seem easy to intertwine in my everyday experiences. Today, as I sat, unable to do my homework for multiple classes, I realize I can’t balance everything. I may be able to combine some activities, but my thought process is very singular. I have a vacation for the weekend planned and the only productive events in my life have involved chores for my trip. I’ve been ignoring all other assignments that need my attention as my tunnel vision seems to narrow more and more. ‘

Parents and older relatives notice how much people my age are always on the go. We’re never doing one thing at a time. Once my activities internalize, however, I can only focus on one thing. This would be positive except I only focus on the unimportant topics, like what I need to pack for the weekend, instead of the test I need to study for. Once distracted, I can’t prioritize my thoughts.

Distractions come in many forms. For me, stress during a hectic week can distract me from getting things done. If I feel overwhelmed, instead of being productive I’ll start thinking about all the things I need to do. Eventually, I feel so stressed out that I can’t get anything done. My productivity turns into a distraction because all I can think about is how I wish I wasn’t doing my present task so I could be doing other things.

This week, my schedule was really busy. I had an oral exam and a written test for my Italian class two days apart. My philanthropy for my sorority was also 4 days of this week. With that, I had meetings, events, and practice that interrupted the flow of my day. Also, my dad is here to visit and I had to find time for him despite all my appointments and homework. While I sat in my classes, I listed off in my head every meeting, appointment and homework assignment I had to do. When I was at one of my meetings, all I though about was how I needed to get home and help with the philanthropy. At the philanthropy, I stressed out about the extra credit assignment I was given and when I would have time to leave to go as well as write the e-mail. During extra credit, I was concerned with the hair appointment I had the next day and when I would be able to see my dad.

My distraction is my busy schedule. It’s the fact that although I can multitask, my brain is never focused on one thing. I can’t handle having everything happening at once because I don’t know how to separate each activity from one another.

As millennials, our generation is constantly being criticized for our addiction to our phones. My daily life is filled with obsessively checking my phone for new posts on social media or new texts from my friends. This distraction isn’t strictly due to a love for technology like many people assume. Instead, it’s because of my need to be connected with my peers at all times. I realized this need in class this week when I went to check the time on my phone. I quickly glanced at my phone to see what time it is, and noticed I had 25 unread texts. I wasn’t about to start reading texts on my phone during a class that is revolved around distraction, but having to wait a whole hour to see what people were saying to me sounded torturous. Although I put my phone away in my backpack, the distraction remained in my head. I couldn’t stop wondering if I was missing out on some important news or funny conversation. I zoned out of class discussion for a couple minutes while I was stressing out about why I could possibly have gotten 25 texts. Once class was over, I quickly pulled out my phone while I left the classroom to catch up on my missed messages. I didn’t grab my phone because of a physical need to be holding it, or because I felt uncomfortable without it. I simply felt out of the loop because I was disconnected from my peers for 2 hours during my class period. To put it in simpler words, I understand that I experience “FOMO”, or “fear of missing out”, anytime I’m not with my friends or on my phone. Is it only my generation that has a constant desire to be connected to the world all times? Or has this new technology fueled this desire for all people?

Last term, my roommate looked me straight in the eye and said, “you have a problem”. The problem isn’t drugs, alcohol, or anything remotely lethal. Instead, its my addiction to online shopping. More appropiately, online “window” shopping. Somehow, no matter what I’m doing, I end up on a website looking for new clothing. The worst part is I never actually purchase the clothes in my cart.

I don’t even need to be doing homework on my computer to get distracted by my so-called addiction. I can be reading a book, look over at my computer, and in seconds be on a website with 4 new items waiting to be purchased in my cart. It’s like I completely forget the sole purpose of what I was doing, and all of a sudden I waste hours switching from website to website. Online shopping is my ultimate distraction.

The other day, as I added two new dresses to a cart that will most likely never be bought, I asked myself why I get so distracted by the thought of new clothes. While I’d like to think it’s because I have impeccable style, I realized it’s deeper than that. My constant online “window” shopping is a result of the materialism that is so present in today’s society. I’m constantly looking for new shirts or rompers not because I need them, but because I want them. But I don’t want clothes for the sheer purpose of filling up my closet.

This desire for new clothes is fueled by my desire to impress other people. As consumerism continues to dominate American society, we have learned to judge people first on what they wear, rather than who they are. I can’t say that this epiphany will have me exiting out of all my online store tabs. However, I have become fully aware that I am a victim of consumerism in America, and this consumerism is my biggest distraction.