This week, I had a minor argument with my roommate. It was nothing really serious, but I was still very much annoyed. When I met my classmates in the morning, I complained about my situation to one of them, in the hope of receiving a little bit sympathy. However, after listening to what I had to say, that classmate responded, “Do you think that it might be your fault?”
This response was really surprising, and, needless to say, I was annoyed by one more person. However, I did not surrender myself to my annoyance. I was distracted by the proper rules in social communication.
In most cases, when people complain about their lives to other people, they are not really asking for opinions or suggestions. All they really want to hear is “Yeah, it sucks!” or “I agree with you”. The content of the complaint never really matters. If that person really wants to hear what others think about on the issue, he or she would directly ask. “What would you do in this situation?” “Do you think I might be wrong?” This is a simple rule in socialization, but a rule that many people seem to forget. They are often too eager to share with others what they think.
But this might not be a bad thing, in a certain sense. I was too distracted by what is right and expected in social communication, that soon I forgot whatever unpleasantness that I had with my roommate this morning.