Alexander Kohnstamm, Exchange Student ’92 (Netherlands) and Yaeko Arimura, Exchange Student ’92 (Japan)

Listen to their songs

More from Alexander: “For your playlist, we have a Japanese song called Toki no Nagare ni Mi wo Makase (時の流れに身をまかせby Teresa Teng, a singer from Taiwan who was immensely popular in Japan and most of East Asia during the eighties. Yaeko and I both started out in Robbins dormitory in the Hamilton complex, and at a certain point, we took part in a talent contest for “Mr and Miss Hamilton.” There was a swimsuit element, I believe, and some other stuff. Together, we did a duet of this song, karaoke-style (Yaeko had brought the cassette tapes from Japan). She was chosen Miss Hamilton and I was the runner-up for Mr Hamilton. Not bad for two exchange students, and a good start of our life-long duet! Listen to this song along with others shared by our international alumni couples on our Spotify playlist – simply click below to listen!

After meeting at UO on Exchange, They Named Their Son Eugene!

Alexander shares, “Yaeko and I have been married since 1994 and the kids are grown up now, of course. We have two children – one of them we named Eugene! Natascha is 24 and just started in her first job. Eugene is 20, studying PPE here in Amsterdam. He had wanted to go to the UO on an exchange last year, but that obviously didn’t work out.

Yaeko and I met during foreign student orientation week, which is a great occasion to meet others who are in the same boat as you – even though students are all from very different backgrounds. I guess the international student experience creates a bond that crosses borders and cultures; you are all in this together, looking forward to a great time at the UO and in America, but also feeling nervous about being far away from home.

Let’s not forget that this was in the late 1980s, when calling home cost a fortune and the only alternative – letters – took weeks. Imagine preparing for such a change – even for just a year. We were both on exchange and without Internet! I had to travel over a hundred miles (a big distance for a small country) to a book store that had any books in English just to find the one travel guide with a few pages on the state of Oregon. At that time, Oregon was, let’s say, a well-hidden secret!”

When asked about relationship advice, Alexander says, “We’ve been married for more than a quarter of a century, so I guess we’ve done some things right. Perhaps the most important is to realize that marriage means being one together and that gives you great benefits but also limits you from time to time. Too much self-centeredness doesn’t work well. A healthy balance is best, coupled with a generous dose of patience for one another. Most fights are not worth their damage, so think before you speak and try to see the bigger picture.”

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