When we’re young, we all have places we want to visit. For some, it’s a far away land with dragons and damsels and for others maybe it’s just an amusement park with your family. My place was always a little more complex than that. From the moment I hid behind the couch spying on my mom as she watched Under the Tuscan Sun in the living room, I knew the place I wanted to visit was Italy.
In the summer of my freshman year, those dreams became a reality. I knew that study abroad would give me the chance to see the Italy that I had always dreamt about. I applied for the Intensive Italian Language program in Lecce, Italy. In all honesty, I pictured myself going somewhere more well-known like Florence or Rome, so when I found out that I would be spending the summer in a place I had never heard of, I was a little disappointed. But I would soon find a place of belonging in that special city.
I boarded the plane ready to embark on a solo trip for my first time out of the country. After a full day of traveling and an overnight stop in Germany, I finally made it to Lecce. Stepping out into the beaming Italian sun for the first time was nothing like I imagined. The landscape was vast, the buildings were foreign, and I soon realized that any ounce of familiarity that I once had was now gone. My host family welcomed me with open arms and spoke to me in an Italian that was much faster than anything I had studied at the UO. I was so grateful for their patience and hospitality as I navigated through this new country those first few days- but I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed.
I think a large part of the study abroad experience that not many people talk about is that it’s not always easy. From an outside perspective, all we see is a person posting how great their trip is on social media, but no one really knows that in a lot of ways that person may be struggling. I know that in those initial two weeks I found myself trying to find a balance of normalcy. I was home sick, not understanding the language, was one of the few people of color on the trip, and still adjusting to what my new life would be for the next nine weeks with my host family. The biggest thing of all, was that I was scared the Italy I had created in my head was wrong.
It took some time, but little by little I began to find my new normal in a sea of the unknown. I developed a close relationship with my host family who showed me a side of Italy that I never would’ve known just from the classroom. We laughed and danced and sang and ate together. They asked me about America, and I asked them about Italy.
Gradually, the people who were once strangers to me became a second family.
In the classroom I was growing more comfortable with the language and using it whenever I had the chance. I found myself growing deeper in love with the country that only a few weeks prior, made me feel like an outsider. There were still moments where I struggled, especially dealing with the racial relations in the country but over time, I felt like I had gained a new sense of confidence in myself to make it through.
In a lot of ways, I was discovering who I was for the first time. I wasn’t surrounded by the distractions of family and friends back home, instead I was in a new place with new people and could just be me. I found confidence and strength, with layers to myself that I didn’t know existed. The nine weeks flew by, with weekend excursions and a last-minute quick trip to Paris (a story for another day).
I woke up early that morning on the final day knowing it was the last time I would see my host family. With tears clouding my eyes and the memories of the past two months running through my head, I said goodbye. As I began retracing my steps from airport to airport, I couldn’t help but think of those moments I had created in the city. I thought about the little girl hiding behind the couch dreaming of jetting off to an unknown place. In a lot of ways, I had fulfilled the dreams of my younger self, but I also created new memories and moments that were better than the ones I formed with my imagination.
I learned that I was never seeking a place to escape to but rather a feeling. I thought back to my mom’s movie, that starred a character looking for something more in her life. A sense of newness, of adventure but most importantly a place that felt like home. I couldn’t help but realize the similarities in my own experience and how my time in Italy achieved those things and so much more. Through this experience I had discovered people that I loved, a culture that challenged me, and most importantly I felt like I found myself.
-Mercedes Wright, Intensive Italian Language in Lecce