Kathy’s tape “Songs After Dark” by Judy Bridgewater, is an object of significance in Never Let Me Go.  The tape was obtained by Kathy at one of the frequent Sales at Hailsham, and she was rather secretive about it since the cover featured Judy Bridgewater smoking a cigarette.  At Hailsham smoking was somewhat of a taboo topic and strictly prohibited, which influenced Kathy to keep the tape to herself.  The reason that “Songs After Dark” was one of Kathy’s most coveted possessions was because of track three titled “Never Let Me Go.”  She even tried to keep the tape wound to that specific track so she could play the song if the opportunity arose.  These opportunities were slim since Kathy was hardly ever afforded the alone time to listen to the tape without interruption.  She did, however, have a portable cassette player in which she’d play the tape during the day when no one else was around.  Kathy especially latches on to the chorus of the song, which goes: “Baby, never let me go…”, and she imagines “a woman who’d been told she couldn’t have babies, who’d really, really wanted them all her life.  Then there’s a sort of miracle and she has a baby, and she holds this baby very close to her and walks around singing” (pg. 34).  Kathy walks around holding a pillow to her chest and singing “Never Let Me Go” just as she imagines the woman in the song to do.  One time when Kathy was listening to “Never Let Me Go” in her room, Madame saw her singing, swaying, and holding an imaginary baby.  Kathy recalls Madame “was out in the corridor, standing very still, her head angled to one side to give her a view of what I was doing inside.  And the odd thing was she was crying.  It might even have been one of her sobs that had come through the song to jerk me out of my dream” (pg. 34).

        The track “Never Let Me Go” embodies the significance of metaphysical presence.  It does so because when Madame sees Kathy singing and swaying with a pillow like an imaginary baby, Kathy believes that Madame interprets her actions as a longing to one day have children.  Kathy thinks this deeply saddens Madame since she knows the truth of the matter.  The truth is that since Kathy is a clone, she is unable to have babies.

       It is important to note that at the time Madame catches Kathy listening to “Never Let Me Go,” Kathy is unaware that she cannot one day have kids.  She reflects on a conversation with Tommy where they concluded, “by then, of course, we all knew something I hadn’t known back them which was that none of us could have babies.  It’s just possible I’d somehow picked up the idea when I was younger without fully registering it, and that’s why I heard what I did when I listened to that song.  But there was no way I’d known properly back then” (pg. 35).  This detail encourages the reader to reflect on whether or not the way things operate at Hailsham are ethical.  The students at Hailsham grow up knowing that they are special and will one day be donors, but they have very limited information about why they are actually special and what being a donor entails.  They believe that they can follow their passions and live the lives they desire, however, in actuality they will be forced to donate their vital organs and meet an inevitable death.  By creating the narrative that Judy Bridgewater’s “Never Let Me Go” is about a mom who is unable to have kids, it is almost like Kathy subconsciously knew the fate that had been chosen for her.  It is a life that none of the children at Hailsham chose for themselves and begs the question whether they should know their fate or if they even should’ve been created in the first place.  In addition, the third track of the “Songs After Dark” tape enriches Kathy’s psychological complexities.  It does so because her associations with the song and how she interacts with it displays Kathy’s longing for connection with others.  As a clone, she will not be afforded the same experiences as regular humans on both the physical and emotional levels.  For instance, Kathy is unable to have children which greatly fosters connection, and the debate of whether clones/AI can be emotionally sentient comes into play.  Kathy will likely be limited in her ability for emotional connection due to the reality of her being a clone.

Citation:  “Kathy’s Music.” Never Let Me Go Reading Map, 30 Nov. 2015, neverletmegorm.wordpress.com/kathys-music/.