Vid's sliding-scale of sleep

Several years ago, a child was born, well statistically speaking quite a lot of them were, but around the time one child in particular was born I was getting little sleep.

Out of this experience a sliding-scale of sleep was developed that accurately depicted my functional level from the amount of sleep I’d had. Inversely it was possible to tell how much sleep I’d been getting based on my behavioral symptoms.

I shared this with a friend or two over the years and it seems to hold true for most folks, so now 1/2 a decade later, I thought I’d post it for posterity.

Vid’s sliding scale of sleep.
Hours of sleep Category Functioning Level *Multiple consecutive days at a certain level may be required to see the full effect Daily Range on foot
1 Mummy Moves slow, falls asleep involuntarily 100 ft.
2 Zombie Staggers, may communicate with grunts less than 100 yards
3 Ogre Able to carry heavy loads (baby, laundry, etc…) 200 yds
4 Hominid Walks upright, acts friendly, though dazed and forgetful, short attention span. 1 mile
5 Humanoid Able to perform normal activities without aid, shows occasional consideration for others, attempts intelligent conversation 2 miles
6 Person Appears to be normal, sense of humor more evolved, capable of rational, even proactive thought 3 miles
7 Creative being Cheerful, May dance and sing, invent new games or stories, solve large scale problems 5 miles
8 Well rounded person May appear to be an over achiever. Cooks complicated recipes, cleans voluntarily, laughs out loud, hatches schemes 8 miles
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