Play time: 5:00- 6:00pm

I was somewhat nervous to start playing Pokemon GO because one of the many things I had heard from this summer is the game drains your phone battery. And with a battery that should have been replaced a couple years ago, my battery life is not what it could be. But hey, at least it lasts longer than an iPhone!

When I first started the app, I was kind of excited to see that I could customize my avatar. And then I was let down. After playing WoW, I have this expectation to create and have many options for my avatar, but Pokemon GO offers little options for players. And with the terrible wifi connection in my office (where I started), it took almost twenty minutes for the game to completely start and generate all the options for character creation. Thankfully, I was able to get started catching Pokemon quickly as I made my way home. Or at least, I catch a few before I left campus. As soon as I started to head downtown, it was like a barren wasteland with no Pokemon in sight. I soon realized that this will get very boring and still be somewhat difficult. In the fact that, as a grad student, I don’t really get to leave Lawrence Hall that much so figuring out time to walk around campus will be the bane of my existence for the next two weeks.

I do question whether my boredom stems from lack of nostalgia. I have a few friends that are avid Pokemon fans still, but I was never intrigued by the concept of the show or card game. The app (to me) is simply marketing the nostalgia factor of the game with the added bonus of forced exercise rather than needing a complex storyline to carry the app as a game. Even though my computer overheating often, I am starting to miss WoW.

Play time: 2:30- 4:15pm

I ran into my first female human character today while I was completing my last few quests. Maybe it was the escape element for my perspective as a player, but I did not even consider playing as a human. Most of the characters I have come across have been elves, so to come across a human character was quite the experience.

That experience was somewhat disconcerting. I previously had reflected on how I felt my avatar performs gender and realized that I had focused on gesture and movement rather than material evidence. And coming across the female human reminded to consider material items as a way of performing gender as well. My blood elf was not bare by any means, she actually was fairly covered in comparison to some of the avatars from other games I have seen. But the human character was considerably less clothed. And this reminded me of another Feminist Frequency video (because I did a little more digging) called “Lingerie is not Armor”. If Williams et al. provided data implying that to represent more women in video games there needs to be more women game designers, then ideally women should feel more comfortable with how their avatars appear. And if the avatars are overly sexualized because of choices a majority of male designers make, I really do feel like we are stuck in a wormhole. Women could have a harder time identifying as gamers because the representations of women in games are so limited and sexualized. And then I remind myself, I wasn’t considering any of this while I was playing because my personal avatar was not overly sexualized. Yes, she physically presents as female and performs certain tasks in a feminine way. But none of that hindered my achievements as a female player. So why am I, all of a sudden, so caught up in this idea of female avatars after seeing a character run past me for less than 2 seconds?

On the upside, I will be able to push this out of my mind for at least a little while as this is technically the end of my play blog for WoW. On the downside of that thought, I no longer have my number one procrastination tool for completing chapter drafts for my final thesis…

Butler, J. (2009). Performative acts and gender constitution: An Essay in phenomenology and feminist theory. Theatre Journal, 40(4), pp. 3- 26.

FeministFrequency. (2016, June 06). Lingerie is not Armor – Tropes vs Women in Video Games. Retrieved February 24, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jko06dA_x88

Play time: 3:30- 5:00pm

As I am becoming more comfortable with the basic operating commands in WoW, I am trying to pay attention to the many variations of the fantasy world that exists around my avatar. Sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Especially as I move forward in levels and have to face creatures that will attack me without provocation. But while I was completing quests today, I noticed that I was working on the same quests as a few other players.

The players around me in the past play sessions have just run past me without much thought. Today, as I was completing a couple of quests, I was working simultaneously with another player (with whom I had no interaction) to kill the same creature. And both times I noticed this other player, the avatar was a female magic wielding character. I started to question if, as a female player, I had chosen the right avatar. Yes, my avatar is a female hunter, which according to Nick Yee’s analysis in the Daedalus Project is not an uncommon avatar for female players. But does that match the demographics of the avatars of female players with the current server I am playing on? Am I questioning my avatar’s race and gender to avoid questioning my skill set as a player?

As I was contemplating this, my avatar went into idle mode. She started moving a little from side to side. And I noticed that her head tilted to one side, which happened to the opposite side of the hip jutting out while she rested. Where do I know that stance from? Then it hit me! Sidewalk LED screens (sadly, no picture, but they can be seen in the MassAve arts and culture district downtown). There are a few of these screens in downtown Indianapolis that my sister and I would make fun of because we realized that that can’t be the way a ‘stereotypical’ woman stands at a sidewalk. Could that really be the only feminine feature of my avatar that I can distinguish?

Play time: 3:30- 5:00pm

As I began playing today, I figured out a configuration with my laptop to avoid as many overheatings as I can. Sadly, this means balancing my computer on a research book (tilted at an angle to avoid blocking the fan) and an ethernet cord twisted around the base of a chair and across a desk to reach my computer. For some reason, this was an entertaining sight to my officemate. But it worked! I only overheated twice!

During these last few play sessions, I have been very focused on my role as a player. I don’t identify as a gamer, but I find that my avatar (a blood elf) could contribute to my personal representation in WoW if I did identify as a gamer (Shaw, 2011). My identity as a player has now moved from 70% achiever, 30% explorer to 100% achiever (Bartle, 1996). I am experiencing this change as I have challenged myself to work on three or four quests at a time.

This play session, in particular, I was interested in finding new ways of surviving in the game. As a hunter, I mainly use a bow. So while I was completing my quests, I looted any creature I killed to gain anything that I could sell for more weapons. I then bought a stiletto, dagger, and two-hand sword. Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out how to use them as a weapon. Even more unfortunately, I found that I could not use these items as weapons just by clicking on them like the cobra shot while I was being attacked. While I was able to win the skirmish, I am inclined to check the forums online to see if I can learn to switch between weapons while fighting.

One feature that I would like to learn more about (maybe in online forums) is the motorcycle and sidecar. It seems to be outside of the featured aesthetic, but is something that I am seeing more and more as I play. And whenever I see it, my achieving personality just wants to scream out “WHAT ARE YOU AND HOW CAN YOU HELP ME!”

Bartle, R. (1996). “Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, Spades: Players Who Suit MUDs”. Journal of MUD Research I.

Shaw, A. (2011). “Do you identify as a gamer? Gender, race, sexuality, and gamer identity”. New Media & Society, 14(1) pp. 28-44.  

Play time: 3:00- 4:30pm

Yet again, I am running into overheating problems. It seems to be that my computer is more likely to overheat as I am in a very intense time of the game. And speaking of intense…

I have learned what it is like to feel like prey in a game (Bartle, 1996). While I fell prey to the game, and not other player personality types, I did feel somewhat attacked. It all started when I was working on a quest for arcane cores. At first, I did not know that I need to kill the urchin before trying to open the glowing chest. And the urchins attack quite a lot faster than other creatures in the game. Then, I moved too close to a chest by two urchins. And then found out what it is like to die in WoW. Thankfully, those players that are under level 10 can be resurrected with no penalties.

The second time I died in the game, I truly believed that the game was trying to punish me for my last successful play session without overheating. I don’t understand what I could be doing so wrong. And this second incarnation was doomed from the beginning. This play session, I attempted to play with an oblivious audience. My friends would watch me playing without seeing the screen on my computer. This came to be favorable for their entertainment as I would be engaging with some conversation and immediately start yelling and screaming as I fell prey to urchins. After this play session, I feel that I have lost my status as an achiever in the game and moved into some mutated form of a socializer that just does not socialize with other players in the game (Bartle, 1996).

Bartle, R. (1996). “Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, Spades: Players Who Suit MUDs”. Journal of MUD Research I.

Play time: 1:45- 4:00pm

My fears were realized after the last play session. My computer still overheats. I really do think it is a problem with the age of my computer. Sadly, I had to manually shut down in the middle of the game twice. But this time around, I had almost a solid 45 minutes of playing before it overheated again (mid-battle).

Before I played today, I was reflecting on the process of creating my avatar and the first two quests that I accomplished. I sent a message to my friend, who is a big WoW player, with a really positive attitude. I told him “I feel like a badass!” And I kind of do. I made sure that my character reflected choices that I would make in the real world, like having a ponytail and trying to stay away from other frivolous decisions. I realized that while I was projecting some characteristics of myself onto the avatar, I was also trying to create an ideal persona in this fantasy world (Waskul & Lust, 2004). While my skills are still growing, I feel that this hunter class blood elf is a mixture of what I think are my best attributes of various points in my life.

And then I really started getting into playing and I found that while I could be an explorer, the beginning of WoW is to push every player to experience the game as an achiever (Bartle, 1996). It depends on how the player tries to accomplish their quests. I had quite a hard time trying to navigate at first, so I would purposefully move with the map superimposed over the screen. One thing is for certain. I am not a socializer. After playing for a couple hours, I have had offers from a couple of players to join their group and I have ignored them. This could be a reflection of my confidence in my own skill set; it could also be a reflection of fears about being a female with a female avatar. Or it could possibly be a part of myself as the person directly influencing myself as the player making decisions for myself as the persona (Waskul & Lust, 2004).

Bartle, R. (1996). “Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, Spades: Players Who Suit MUDs”. Journal of MUD Research I.

Waskul, D., & Lust, M. (2004). Role-Playing and Playing Roles: The Person, Player, and Persona in Fantasy Role-Playing. Symbolic Interaction, Summer 2004 27.3, pp. 333-356.

Play time: 5:45- 7:15pm

I started out playing WoW today in reflecting on the idea of persona and player. This is a concept from some of my research on role-playing games that I thought would be a great intersect for starting to play and creating my avatar. And then…

I don’t know what exactly is wrong. It may be how old my computer is. It could be the amount of time my computer is running. But every time I have gotten into the swing of things, my computer overheats. In an hour and a half, I was only able to create a character (a little too quickly might I add) and complete two quests. During this time as well, I have to manually restart my computer four times and wait for the processor to cool off. I guess this could also be a glimpse into how games like WoW were played on early versions of personal computers and laptops. Personally, I am not a fan of the fact that I need a better fan.

The highlight of this unexpected turn of events was the opportunity to watch the beginning sequence of the game a few times. I was a little confused in the beginning because I have friends that play WoW and they let me watch over their shoulder in the past. And this looked nothing like what I had seen before. I kept getting distracted by the dirigibles in the sequence and the some of the aesthetics. And by distracted, I mean I was a little excited. I wrote my senior thesis on steampunk material culture and identity. All of a sudden I open the game and I am seeing flying airships and brass detailing on the motorcycle and sidecar! Not going to lie, I want to see how this aesthetic is tied into the overall aesthetic of the game. After recently seeing a terrible attempt at steampunk (I have a rant on randomly slapping gears on things and calling it steampunk which I will save you from), I am a little nervous. But still excited to see how things go in the future.

Here’s hoping my computer will let me play longer next time!

Play time: 10:30- 11:30am

In this last play session, I decided to do things a little differently to escape the monotony of the game as I have come to know it. Once is took all the supplies from the house, I decided to exit and roam the forest to see if there was a new path for me (other than being lost and going in circles like in the past). Sad to say there was nothing new to discover in the woods and I entered the house to yet again be lost in a maze.

With how many times I have gotten lost in the game, I question how spatial the game narrative is (Murray, 1997, pp. 79- 83). Even if I was using a map, I don’t think it would have been that helpful to me. I had previously tried to keep in mind that this was a navigable environment. But in paying closer attention to the way the directions were given and generated, I do not precisely understand how the space is being navigated. Are the directions given based on a ‘true’ compass or are they simply in relation to how the player is standing or facing in the space? I find that I have focused so much on these questions during this play session because I have (unfortunately) died so many times playing that I am no longer engaged with the dramatic elements of the space (Murray, 1997, p. 81).

I decided after I finished playing to return to the manual. I was so impressed by the page of tips for novices, but now that I have played I am not so enamored with the way that the tips are given. The tips were helpful at first, but with the way that I was digging into the narrative, some of the tips seemed to be over the top or extraneous. What is frustrating as a player is the manual gave so many examples of scenarios that I never encountered during my playing. It was frustrating and made me ask what I was doing that was so wrong that I couldn’t move forward in the game. This being my experience, I think I will take a break and try to play in the future before I give an opinion as to my like or dislike of the game or text-based computer games.

Murray, J. H. 1997. “From Additive to Expressive Form.” In Hamlet on the holodeck: The future of narrative in cyberspace. New York: The Free Press, pp. 65- 94.

Play time: 1:30- 2:30pm

Now that I have become accustomed to the game, I find that there is very little variation to what I am able to do. I start the game, I go into the house and take everything I can carry. I move a rug and open a trap door that is then shut and barred by a creature that is in the house unbeknownst to me. My sword glows, I kill the troll. I have been able to pick up on the tiny details of the narrative that I constantly interact with that I have begun to get bored.

Reflecting on Jenkins’ concept of embedded narratives (2006, pp. 181- 183), I see that there is a narrative within the game that a player must navigate. But I feel utterly lost as to what the objective of the game or the end of the narrative is. Embedded narratives should communicate significant information (Jenkins, 2006, p. 182), but how can the player understand that piece of the narrative as a whole when there is no detail given by the designers to communicate why this portion of the narrative is significant to the narrative and the objective of the game? Or am I just missing it completely?

My search for new information in this game and new places to explore have brought me to believe that there is no end in sight for me as a player in Zork. I have not found any information that leads me to new locations (other than being lost in a maze) that would point me in the direction of ‘winning’ the game. Will I be doomed to roam the forest of Zork for the rest of my gaming experience? Or will there magically be another piece of the narrative puzzle that will reveal itself over time?

Jenkins, H. 2006. “Game Design as Narrative Architecture”, pp. 174- 184.

Play time: 6:30- 7:30pm

That’s right. I said it. I hate mazes. This is the second time in a row that I have gotten stuck in a maze. And they just pop out of nowhere! How does a maze appear in the middle of a cellar!?! I don’t know the answer, but I experienced it! The sheer frustration of playing this time…

But in experiencing this frustration, I was reminded of the frustration that Jenkins (2006) mentions that emergent narratives mimic from real life situations (p. 183). But this experience just highlighted the fact that Zork, at this point, has only been unstructured and frustrating. I have done nothing but get lost, get robbed, or die. My only want, need, and desire as a player, and character within the game, is to survive. Yes, every choice has its consequences (Jenkins, 2006, p. 184), but it seems to me that the majority of the choices I make within my game’s narrative leads to the same consequence.

One silver lining to this play session was the fact that I am learning from each of my previous play sessions. The overall narrative of Zork does not change, so I can quickly find all the items in the house and move on to the next task I set in front of myself. Previously, in the maintenance room off the dam lobby, I accidentally drowned by pushing the wrong button. This time, I was able to turn the light on in the room before I pushed the wrong button again and drowned. The things you learn!

For my next play session, I almost want to set a goal for myself to not die within the hour. But in all reality, I will be lucky to last fifteen minutes. I have figured out that, personally, drawing a map does not work for understanding how the game world unfolds and simply confuses me with what I could be doing instead of what I should be doing within the game.

Jenkins, H. 2006. “Game Design as Narrative Architecture”, pp. 174- 184.