Creating Healthy Relationships

Relationships – there are thousands, perhaps millions of movies, stories, self-help books, songs, online assessments, videos, messages and blogs about them. We have, build and maintain – and sometimes lose — them with so many people around us: parents, siblings, friends, partners, roommates, advisers, hair stylists, mechanics, RAs, professors, neighbors. The list goes on and on. Most important, of course, is your relationship with yourself. Needless to say, the kind of relationships we have with others differ. How much effort, time, and stress we incur in these relationships varies. However, most of us tend to crave good, healthy and reciprocal relationships with the people we encounter and spend time with.

So, what makes a healthy relationship? How do we recognize when a relationship isn’t healthy? What steps can we take to ensure that the relationships we are in can be as good as possible?

Although there isn’t a magic formula to ensure that your relationships are healthy, here are some things to think about in order to create well-balanced and fulfilling relationships:

DO NOT NEGLECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF: This is arguably your most important relationship. How you think of and treat yourself plays a very important role in what your other relationships are like. Be kind to yourself, cheer and motivate yourself on, be gentle and encouraging when you make a mistake, set realistic goals for yourself and reward yourself and take credit for your accomplishments. Set aside some time to assess what your needs are and practice asking for your needs to be met. Stand up for yourself when you need to. Let go of any expectations to be “perfect”. Learn to be vulnerable with others and to allow others to help you. Treat yourself the way that you wish others would treat you. When you respect and love yourself, you make it easier for others to do the same.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS AND BEHAVIORS: When you realize and accept that someone you have a relationship with cannot “make you” feel something or “make you” do something, it becomes easier to feel empowered within the relationship. For example, many people feel anxious around conflict. But it helps to recognize that you can choose how you react, and this is what determines how you ultimately feel about it. For example, you could choose to not say anything and feel resentful; or you could choose to respectfully address the issue and feel relieved if the conflict is aired and hopefully resolved.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ARE RECIPROCAL: All healthy relationships include some amount of reciprocity. If you are constantly “giving”, but never “receiving” or never “allowing yourself to receive,” that is not a healthy relationship. It takes two people to create a healthy relationship. Another indicator of whether a relationship is healthy is decision making. If the relationship is healthy, the responsibility of decision making is shared. Decisions are mutual rather than being thrust upon one person by the other.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES: Relationships are healthy when boundaries are clearly established and understood by all parties. This includes physical, emotional and sexual boundaries. Healthy and appropriate boundaries create a safe and comfortable environment that allows a healthy relationship to thrive. An example would be that while it’s natural to seek support from those we feel close to, it can be unhealthy when one person turns the other into their “therapist.”

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPASSIONATE: Healthy relationships are not abusive or traumatic. Relationships thrive when members in the relationship are kind, accepting and empathic. In healthy relationship, both parties have mutual respect for each other. Differences in culture are accepted and celebrated. Conflicts or disagreements are compassionately addressed rather than being avoided or weighed down by blame.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS INVOLVE OPEN AND RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION: The importance of clear, open, genuine communication to creating healthy relationships cannot be stressed enough. We build good relationships with others when we don’t hide important feelings, when we give honest feedback, and when we step out of our comfort zone and are emotionally vulnerable.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK: It takes work to do all of the above. It is difficult to be vulnerable, to lean in to conflict, to be compassionate when we are hurt, and to trust others — especially if we have been hurt before. But the rewards for putting in the effort to create a fulfilling, compassionate and reciprocal relationship are profound. The delightful thing about it is that as you start to create one healthy relationship, it is much easier to start to transform your other relationships along healthy lines as well.

If you would like to learn more about your relationship with yourself and with others and start to identify ways to start to improve your relationships, consider joining a “Creating Healthy Relationships” therapy group. Call 541-346-3227 or go to our webpage  to see how you can join.

Asha Stephen, Ph.D.
Staff Psychologist

Everyone Belongs

I know that this has been a very difficult time for some UO students – particularly students of color and other groups that feel under siege right now. It is to those students that I primarily speak  – but also those who identify as allies or are just concerned with the suffering of fellow ducks.

Many students wonder what future holds for themselves and their loved ones. I have heard several stories about UO students being harassed by strangers on the street simply for the color of their skin. This saddens me, and as white male, it makes me very disappointed in those who share my gender and skin color.

At the same time, I have seen wise elders — and wise youth — stepping forward and offering words of hope and inspiration. This seems like the best response during periods of fear and uncertainty. Isolation in times like these can sometimes be a recipe for despair.

As a psychologist I’m aware of the power of the darkness. If we don’t get lost in our suffering, then deep hurt, fear and anger can become a powerful force for transformation and change. People don’t usually seek out experiences that are confusing and painful. But it’s not the victories in life that shape and reveal our character. If we can explore such experiences consciously and with compassion for ourselves and others, then the darkness deepens us and reveals our strength.

Think of Rosa Parks who refused to go the back of the bus in Montgomery. Think of Martin Luther King at the Birmingham City Jail. Think of Cesar Chavez fasting for 25 days at the Forty Acres gas station. These men and women faced as great, if not greater, challenges than the ones America faces today, and yet they emerged from the storms of hate and misunderstanding only more committed to their cause. For as Dr. King said, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

This may sound naïve – but imagine what your life and the world would be like if for every act of ugliness you hear or read about, you and others engaged in acts of beauty. This could mean reaching out to a friend who is going through a difficult time. It could be volunteering for those who can benefit from your help — or smiling and saying hello to a stranger who appears burdened or alone. Or it might be listening to the vision that stirs in the quiet waters of your soul and bringing it out into the light so that the world becomes better place for all of us.

So in this season of winter and darkness, I encourage you to kindly tend to the darkness and also to the flames that light up your life.

Mark Evans, Ph.D.

Staff Psychologist

Home for the Holidays

As end of the quarter builds, having time off around the Holidays can be a much needed chance to rest, recharge, and reconnect. For many students, trips “home” can be simultaneously enjoyable and frustrating. It can be particularly challenging to enjoy a sense of freedom while living away from home and then lose some of this freedom when you re-encounter rules or expectations. It might be helpful in this case to have a frank conversation with your parents in which everyone’s needs and hopes for the break are taken into consideration.

For students who struggle with family relationships, returning to home can be stressful. Sometimes the holidays can remind us of what is missing in our family life – or even loved ones whom we have lost. If you will be traveling home and find yourself struggling, it may be time to attend to self-care.

Sometimes, all it takes is a few minutes to refocus and ground yourself and simple strategies such as:

  • Listening to music
  • Texting/calling a friend
  • Taking a short walk
  • Taking out your art materials
  • Petting your family dog or cat

At other times, it may take more effort and time, and you might find it useful to reconnect with a local friend, see a movie, take yourself on a date, or go for a longer hike. Having strategies in mind can help decrease distress and anxiety and allow you to enjoy more of your time at home.

Finally, for some students going home can feel like your personal identities are rendered invisible — particularly those who have salient identities that differ (and are not accepted by) family members. In this case, make plans to connect with others who know you and understand you, even if it’s via text or Snapchat. If you feel overwhelmed, call the support line (541-346-3227) for more immediate support.

Going “home for the holidays” can be a wonderful break and a time to reconnect. But it can also be difficult and overwhelming for some. Either way, know you’re not alone and give yourself permission to take care of yourself and re-engage with the people and activities you enjoy.

Stacie Rowan, Ph.D.

Staff Psychologist

What is This Title IX Business?

You may have heard the phrase “Title IX” tossed around campus — it sounds big, it sounds important, but it also sounds vaguely like something that should be left to the tweed-adorning professors of yore. Well it is important, and it is meant to protect you as students!

Title IX was first enacted in 1972 nationwide by the federal government in an effort to eliminate sex and gender discrimination from education. However, the long and short of it is that this was widely interpreted as “have women’s sports.”

In 2011, federally funded educational institutions were further advised to reduce barriers to education for women, in part, by addressing issues related to dating violence, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and gender discrimination. The University of Oregon, as a federal institution, honors Title IX and works to reduce the impact of gender discrimination on your college education. One of the ways the university does this is by mandating all staff and faculty to report any Title IX incidents that they hear about to the university, including sexual assault, gender based harassment, intimate partner or relationship violence, stalking, gender bullying, and gender discrimination.

Sexual assault on college campuses, an all too frequent occurrence, is finally starting to get the attention it deserves. However, as millennials, this may be the first time we’ve participated in these discussions, and some of us might not even be clear on what constitutes sexual assault. The UO SAFE website defines sexual assault as, “unwanted sexual penetration” or “nonconsensual personal contact of a sexual nature.” These definitions may not clearly portray what sexual assault actually looks like, for instance: too many drinks to properly give consent, when a trusted friend suddenly takes what they feel is “theirs,” or when someone decides in the heat of the moment that this is not what they wanted and withdraws their consent — only to be ignored. Make no mistake, these are instances of sexual assault. These experiences deserve to be voiced and responded to by your campus community.

Furthermore, sexual harassment, assault, and gender discrimination are not exclusively female experiences. Male-identified, female-identified, as well as transgender, genderqueer, and agender students experience harassment, bullying, and discrimination based on their gender identity. Perhaps classmates or teammates call you homophobic slurs or constantly imply you are not masculine enough. Perhaps another Graduate Employee at your campus job constantly makes sexist jokes or sexually inappropriate comments. If it’s weighing heavy on your mind, it is impacting your right to an accessible education.

So, what happens when these incidents are reported to the university? Perhaps you opened up to a professor or an RA about a sexual assault, and they are mandated reporters. This information will be passed along to the Crisis Intervention and Sexual Violence Support Services here on campus, where advocates work to meet your needs. They will reach out to you, and you can allow them to outline resources for you, let them walk you through the entire process — or you can tell them to, “go way and leave me alone.” The level of support you want or don’t want is up to you, but this protocol is in place so that you know what options are available to you.

Options include but are not limited to:

  • Anonymous reporting (if the incident has not already been reported)
  • Implementing a no-contact order with the perpetrator
  • Academic accommodations if a class is feeling too overwhelming
  • Connections to legal support

Don’t want the university to know what happened? Here are ways to seek support and maintain confidentiality:

Regardless of the choices you make regarding a sexual assault experience, please know that support is nearby.

Kendall Thornton

Doctoral Intern

 

Do You Have ADD?

Are you easily distracted? Do you struggle with getting organized when you have a paper to write? Do you tend to forget appointments or frequently lose your keys or phone? Do you feel like your mind is a motor that is constantly revving?

Then it’s possible that you have ADD. The only way to know for certain is to be assessed by a mental health professional. This typically involves a few interviews, some psychological tests, as well as an interview with a parent or someone else who can describe your early school history.

Other conditions exist that produce some of the same symptoms of ADD. A few examples are anxiety, post-traumatic stress syndrome, and bipolar disorder. A formal evaluation is usually able to tease out ADD from these other disorders. And it’s possible for ADD to co-exist along with other mental health issues.

Many students do not discover that they have ADD until they encounter the lack of structure and increased demands of college. Prior to college such students are often able to do reasonably well in school through sheer intelligence and persistence. The good news is that most students with ADD are able to be successful in college by developing good coping strategies and work habits and accessing proper support. Many go on to earn graduate degrees or other professional degrees. You shouldn’t let ADD stop you from aspiring to do great things.

Edward Hallowell, M.D., a psychiatrist who himself has ADD, says that one of the keys to a successful life for those with ADD is to find a career path that one feels passionate about. The intrinsic interest provided by a passionate pursuit can help a person with ADD overcome their difficulty sustaining attention and motivation. In fact, Hallowell believes that many of the most creative people have ADD.  Just google “famous people with ADD” and see what you come up with. You may be surprised.

While medication may not be for everyone, it is the most effective treatment for ADD. I have witnessed amazing results in students with ADD once they start taking prescribed medication. It’s as if a switch is turned on, and suddenly they are able to sit still in class, focus and sustain attention. One current challenge is the fact that the illicit use of Adderall has made it less available to those who really need it. Keep in mind that drugs like Adderall have a different effect on those who have ADD and those who simply use it to write a paper or cram before finals.

Lifestyle changes also can be very helpful for those who have ADD. Exercise, good nutrition, and getting enough sleep all help improve a person’s ability to focus — especially those with ADD. Some students with ADD find that they can sit down and hammer out a paper much more easily after a good workout. The opposite is also true. When a person with ADD isn’t getting enough sleep, gets little to no exercise, and eats a diet rich in carbohydrates and sugars instead of protein, their ability to focus will deteriorate even further.

The Counseling Center is a good place to start if you think you might have ADD. Another helpful resource on campus is the Accessible Education Center (AEC). If you have documented ADD, the AEC can help with adaptive technology and academic accommodations.

Don’t let feelings of discouragement stop you from seeking resources that can help you achieve your ambitions and enjoy your time in college.

Mark Evans, Ph.D.

Staff Psychologist

Managing the Emotional Roller Coaster

This past weekend, I took an evening walk and realized that, although nothing looks terribly different just yet, I was able to feel the cool bite of fall in the air for the first time this year. Then I thought — once again, it’s time to say goodbye to summer and welcome the start of another academic year. For some of you, that means returning to familiar faces and places, but with the added promise of a year full of new classes, people, and other experiences. For those of you just starting out at UO, it means the beginning of an entirely new chapter of your life. Although our experiences may be different, we are all looking at an upcoming time of change.

As a psychologist on campus, one of the things I find myself frequently hearing from students is some variation of, “But I hate change!” I hear this as an acknowledgement that change can be scary and hard. Research tells us that even the changes we welcome, such as going off to college or beginning an exciting new relationship, generate stress. This is something we don’t acknowledge often enough, particularly when it comes to the college experience. Too frequently, cultural myths (e.g., “college is going to be the best four years of your life”) prevent us from openly discussing the reality that like any experience, college is complex, and its beginning, middle, and end are often characterized by both highs AND lows.

Maintaining a realistic perspective while navigating the upcoming changes is one coping skill that can support your emotional well-being. Another important part of that process is allowing your experience and your feelings to be what they are, without the added pressure of trying to fulfill any “shoulds,” “musts,” and “ought tos” your brain may have accumulated over time. Here are a few other tips for handling the stress of change to temper the pitch of what can be an emotional roller coaster:

  • Get the amount of rest that feels right for your body. Remember that either too little or too much sleep can take a toll.
  • Eat balanced and nutritious meals that make you feel good, and use your hunger and fullness cues to guide when you start and stop eating. (Research supports the idea that our brains require key nutrients to maintain mental health.)
  • If you use mood-altering substances, try to balance enjoyment with thoughtfulness. It might be helpful to check in with yourself periodically by asking: Has the intake/frequency of my use changed recently? Am I using to manage stress? Have there been any negative consequences as the result of my use? Am I using to avoid difficult emotions? If you answer “Yes” to one or more of these questions, it might be time to re-examine your use and make some changes.
  • Get in some type of exercise every day. Start where you are and gradually build up to 20 minutes of physical exercise each day. This can make a tremendous difference in mood for many of us.
  • Make your physical well-being a priority. Get routine check-ups and see your doctor when you’re ill. (When you’re feeling physically well, stress is less likely to trigger emotional distress.)
  • Do something that is enjoyable and/or that makes you feel accomplished each day. When we make time for fun and feel good about who we are and what we are doing, we feel better in general.
  • Finally, reach out for support when you need it, whether that’s from a friend, family member, or a campus resource like the Counseling Center. Don’t wait until you are floundering, emotionally or academically. There are many free services on campus designed to help you thrive and succeed.

All of these steps are key in laying the groundwork for being able to handle change more comfortably. Take excellent care of yourselves, and may you each have a year that fulfills and challenges you in the ways that contribute to your growth!

Susie Musch, Ph.D.

Staff Psychologist

Easing the Stress of Graduation

Every spring, as the school year draws to a close and graduation looms on the horizon, I think about the theme of life transitions — times when one era of our lives is ending and another one is about to begin. I think of all the emotions that arise like excitement, anxiety and fear, and sadness, to name a few. I’m also aware of how perplexing and challenging it can be to be at a point in your life where you are experiencing many of these feelings simultaneously. Then, since I am a therapist, I switch into thinking about ways to ease the difficulty of transitions for others

The first step in easing the stress of transitions is to recognize that major transitions are tough, reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel the above mentioned and other emotions. There is no one “right way” to experience or feel about change. Similarly, it’s helpful to remind yourself that thousands of other students are graduating each spring and that you are not alone in this process. If the negative emotions feel overwhelming at times, remember to use your go-to strategies that help you to cope like talking with friends, doing your favorite breathing exercise, going to your yoga class, taking a hike, etc.

If you are a person who feels a lot of anxiety around not having a plan for the future, then go ahead and make one, even if that plan includes allowing yourself to not have a plan for a while. Spending time actively planning and making decisions (even small ones) related to your next steps can help to reduce the anxiety of the unknown. If you’re graduating and unsure about a future career path it may be helpful to utilize resources like the Career Center. It’s also worth mentioning, that some services through the UO Career Center are available up to a year after graduation for UO alumni. So, even if you have a plan now and decide later that it doesn’t feel like the best fit, then this could be a resource for you in the future. This leads into another helpful reminder:  it’s okay to change course. The decisions you are making now don’t have to be permanent ones, even if they sometimes feel that way.

One of the most difficult aspects of life transitions is saying goodbye to important people in our lives. So, take some time to honor these relationships in whatever ways feels best to you. Whether that is having a goodbye dinner with friends, high-fiving with your classmate, sending an e-mail to your favorite professor, or crying it out with your closest friend, do so, and don’t be afraid to talk about your worries and fears around possible separation. I was recently reminded by a friend that sometimes goodbyes are just as important or even more so to those who care about us. Reaching out to them can allow them to say goodbye and to express their appreciation to you. Try to create these opportunities and attend events that you’re invited to by others. Goodbyes can be one of the most challenging parts of a transition, so allow yourself to grieve if that feels right for you.

You can ease the strain of saying goodbye by making a plan to stay in contact. Consider discussing a plan for phone dates/skype dates, sending each other messages on various forms of social media, planning a reunion or a visit, having a text conversation while you watch your favorite TV show every week, sending a random e-mail, etc. It often helps to ease the sense of loss to be in agreement about the next time you plan to be in touch.

Finally, take a moment to reflect about your time at UO. Transitions can be a whirlwind filled with emotions and things to do. Carve out time to reflect, center yourself, and think about what this era of your life has meant to you, and what you hope to create in the future.

Whitney Statham

Post-Doctoral Resident

Let’s Talk about Race

Let’s start with the facts: there are 24,125 students enrolled at UO as of Fall term 2015. Among those students, 2% have identified as Black or African America, 5.5% as Asian, 9.4% as Hispanic or Latino/a, 5.8% as Multi-ethnic, and less than 1% of students as American Indian/Alaska Native or Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander. The fact is that we are in a predominantly White institution (PWI), and if you are a person of color, you are likely reminded of this fact time and time again. Through our own experiences as people of color in a PWI, we are very familiar with the feeling of being the minority on campus, and we imagine that we are not the only ones to feel this way.

Over the past year, we wanted to explore the experiences of students of color at the UO through a series of focus groups. From these discussions we learned how common the feeling of being marginalized or alienated can be. We learned that these students are often made to feel like they don’t belong, either by being the only person of color (POC) in the room, hearing someone butcher their name, or being asked where they are from (since they can’t possibly be from here, can they?). They are often made to feel misunderstood or feel unheard by their peers, teachers, and even their families.

Navigating their various identities and cultural backgrounds is a balancing act because many students of color don’t just check one box for race/ethnicity or have the same experiences as their parents’ generation. One challenge they face is having to balance cultural differences between family and friends. And what’s worse, their experiences are often called into question or disregarded, whether they are labeled as “too sensitive or over-reactive” or told that they are too focused on being “PC.” Obviously, the experiences of each racial and ethnic group are not the same. But in our focus groups we found a shared narrative of feeling misunderstood and disconnected.

So what can be done? How can we move forward? There is no clear solution for how to address these challenges. Nonetheless, from these conversations we gained invaluable suggestions for how to improve services beyond a “we support diversity” sign. These discussions also highlighted the strength of simply allowing a student of color to feel heard and understood. Regardless of your race, the focus groups highlighted the importance of showing empathy and understanding for students of color’s unique experience.

We also learned how powerful the opportunity to share our experiences can have for us as people of color in connecting with other people with shared identities. Whether it’s through a friend, a center, or a student group, the feeling of someone saying “I know exactly how you feel” or “I’ve had the exact same thing happen to me” can make all the difference. If you are feeling alone or have a raw feeling about what someone said, connecting to others who share or can understand that experience can make the difference between feeling excluded and feeling like you belong.

We hope that students of color will continue to find supportive spaces and that each individual on this campus can do their part to create a more inclusive and empathic environment for these students. One example is Racial Dialogues, which was created by members of the Counseling Center staff. Meeting every week, we work not only to support each other but also to develop our capacity for understanding and ability to address difficult situations that arise for students of color. Through such shared experiences, we hope to offer a space that nurtures reflection and solidarity through dialogue and connection.

Racial Dialogues

Carson, Ramey Room

Thursdays, 5-6pm

We will end with a quote from one of our early conversations in our focus group: “I’m very thankful to be a part of this discussion, and I, I feel so encouraged . . . there’s this sense of togetherness with people who have the same or similar experiences and it’s very uplifting and I feel like I have that courage to tell other people like, wow you’re not alone.”

 

Eric Garcia M.S.

Outreach Specialist, Graduate Teaching Fellow

 

Wing Ng

Student Mental Health Advocate and Outreach Intern

Why Bathroom Access Matters

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about bathrooms. On the surface, this certainly may seem like an odd start to a blog — or any conversation for that matter. But bathrooms matter. Not having access to bathrooms can be a significant barrier to transgender, nonbinary, genderqueer, and agender individuals.

Several states recently have been debating and passing “bathroom bills,” which restrict access to appropriate bathrooms for trans individuals. This makes me think about how unconscious cisgender privilege drives the process and gets reinforced (that is, the privilege of having one biological sex match one’s gender identity).

As a cisgender woman, I have the privilege of not having to think twice about which bathroom I use. I don’t think about bathrooms when I’m shopping, out to eat, at work, or traveling. If I need to use the restroom, I push open the women’s restroom and enter. I’m never afraid. I never look around to see if someone is watching me enter. I never scan the bathroom for my safety. My cisgender privilege allows me to not have to think about these things at all.

If you happen to be cisgender, think about this for a minute. Think about the places you frequent and ponder how things would change if you didn’t know whether you would be able to access safe and appropriate bathrooms. Would your favorite coffee shop be as appealing if there wasn’t an accessible bathroom? What about going to classes through your day?

What if you were required by law to use only bathrooms designated as being for the opposite gender? What if every time you had to use a public restroom you had to share it with those from a different gender than your own?  This is what is being debated and enacted into law in states and cities right now, directed at transgender adults and youth.

So, yes, I ask you to think about bathrooms. I invite you to walk in someone else’s shoes and see the world through their eyes.  I also invite you take action and become an ally, e.g., speak up when the topic arises, advocate for single gender bathrooms and individuals’ rights to access safe and appropriate bathrooms for their gender.

Together we can create a safer and more inclusive world for everyone.

 

Stacie Rowan, Ph.D.

Case Manager & Senior Staff Psychologist

Marijuana: Understanding Your Use

As you may know, recreational marijuana use was legalized in Oregon this past year for those 21 or older. Though cannabis use is still not allowed on campus, this change in legal status provides a great time to reflect on the role it plays in your life — or the life of someone you care about. While many people use pot without any serious problems, others find that their use leads to unwelcome changes in their physical or mental health. Cannabis may have a reputation as being a “soft” drug, but dependency can develop just as with any other substance.

I’d like to use this blog post to guide you through some questions to help you better understand your use. Reflecting on your use of marijuana may provide an opportunity to heighten your awareness and give you a greater sense of control around why and when you choose to use or not to. For those whose use is problematic, this reflection may serve as an opportunity to take action and reduce potential harm.

Ask the question: Why do I smoke? Take some time to explore what you see as the benefits of smoking in your life. Cannabis may play a variety of roles in one’s life, some of which may feel beneficial and others that might be getting in your way. In what situations do you find yourself using cannabis most frequently? What are the reasons you smoke at these times? Does your use help you feel more able to connect with peers? To reduce unwanted feelings of anxiety or sadness? To help you sleep?

What has changed since you started smoking? It is common for marijuana user’s habits to change over time. This may mean more frequent or less frequent use, or spending an increasing amount of time smoking or engaging in cannabis related activities. Users may also notice changes in their interests, motivations, and relationships. Has smoking changed who you spend time with, how you spend that time, or the priorities you have when it comes to school? Are you happy with the changes that have occurred?

The following is a screening test that may also help you better understand your use.

Please answer the following questions about your cannabis use. Select the response that is most correct for you in relation to your cannabis use over the last six months.

  1. How often do you use cannabis?
  • Never (0 points)
  • Monthly or less (1 point)
  • 2-4 times a month (2 points)
  • 2-3 times a week (3 points)
  • 4 or more times a week (4 points)
  1. How many hours were you “stoned” on a typical day when you were using cannabis?
  • Less than 1 (0 points)
  • 1 or 2 (1 point)
  • 3 or 4 (2 points)
  • 5 or 6 (3 points)
  • 7 or more (4 points)
  1. How often during the last 6 months did you find that you were not able to stop using cannabis once you had started?
  • Never (0 points)
  • Less than monthly (1 point)
  • Monthly (2 points)
  • Weekly (3 points)
  • Daily or almost daily (4 points)
  1. How often during the last 6 months did you fail to do what was normally expected from you because of using cannabis?
  • Never (0 points)
  • Less than monthly (1 point)
  • Monthly (2 points)
  • Weekly (3 points)
  • Daily or almost daily (4 points)
  1. How often in the past 6 months have you devoted a great deal of your time to getting, using or recovering from cannabis?
  • Never (0 points)
  • Less than monthly (1 point)
  • Monthly (2 points)
  • Weekly (3 points)
  • Daily or almost daily (4 points)
  1. How often during the last 6 months have you had a problem with your memory or concentration after using cannabis?
  • Never (0 points)
  • Less than monthly (1 point)
  • Monthly (2 points)
  • Weekly (3 points)
  • Daily or almost daily (4 points)
  1. How often do you use cannabis in situations that could be physically hazardous, such as driving, operating machinery, or caring for children?
  • Never (0 points)
  • Less than monthly (1 point)
  • Monthly (2 points)
  • Weekly (3 points)
  • Daily or almost daily (4 points)
  1. Have you ever thought about cutting down, or stopping, your use of cannabis?
  • Never (0 points)
  • Yes, but not in the past 6 months (2 points)
  • Yes, during the past 6 months (4 points)

Scoring: This questionnaire is scored by adding each of the 8 items. Questions 1-7 are scored on a 0-4 scale. Question 8 is scored 0, 2 or 4. Scores of 8 or higher indicate concerning cannabis use. Scores of 12 or higher indicates that you might benefit from exploring your use with a professional.

If you are thinking about cutting down or stopping cannabis use on your own, here is a great online resource:  Quitting Marijuana: A 30 Day Self Help Guide

My hope is that through better understanding your use, you will be able to find ways to make sure that you are in control of your decision to use cannabis, or not.

Hillel Samlan, M.A.

Graduate Teaching Fellow & Extern